You Don't Have To Be Alone
by vanillaXtwilight
Summary: Missing moments from Jackson and April's friendship during season 7.
1. With You I'm Born Again

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, yada, yada…You know the drill.**

I'm not sure how long I have been outside when I feel someone drape their suit jacket over my shoulders. I had been rubbing my hands up and down my arms for so long now that I couldn't help but jump at the sudden contact. I roll my head back to find Jackson Avery staring down at me with a tired smile playing across his lips.

"Hey." he greets, shoving his hands in his pockets and nodding his head to the spot next to me, "Mind if I sit?"

"Sure." I agree, moving over enough on the porch step to make room. The stair shifts beneath the added weight as he sits. He removes his hands from his pockets and begins rubbing them together for warmth, whistling lowly as another gust of wind dies down.

"Do you want this back?" I offer.

"S'okay."

He's lying and we both know it but I keep the jacket anyway.

"What are you doing out here anyway?" he asks. "I thought you _loved_ weddings." He grins, bumping his knees against mine.

I smile momentarily but just end up shrugging in reply. "I do…I mean, I usually do."

"Well, what's the problem?"

"I just…" I start and stop, mulling over my choice of words. Instead, I am thrown for a loop when I feel another round of tears pooling behind my eyes. I press my hand against my lips and squeeze my eyes shut tightly, willing myself to pull it together. Jackson had already seen me cry enough these past few weeks. I lean forward, hiding my face in my hands, as my chest and shoulders begin to shake uncontrollably.

"Hey, hey." Jackson coos, reaching out and rubbing my back soothingly. I gasp for breath as I try to calm my erratically beating heart.

"It just kind hit me all at once, ya know? That I'm never going to get to be the maid of honor at her wedding or be the godmother to her child…and I-I just needed…I needed a minute to miss my best friend, okay?"

Jackson looks at me for a long time before he speaks again, his hand still resting encouragingly on my shoulder. "Okay."

Jackson and I sit in silence a little while longer, the only sound that fills the air between us is the bass thumping from the music inside the house. This silence is different than the others somehow. This time it's calming. Some might say comfortable, even.

"Are you two losers coming back inside anytime soon?"

Jackson and I flip around to find Alex Karev pressed between the screen door and the door frame and staring at us with a mix of both expectancy and annoyance.

"Yeah." I agree glancing at Jackson, noting the way his lower lip trembles just slightly as another wind blows. "Yeah, we'll be right there."

Alex nods, not looking too convinced, before slipping back inside the warmth of the house.

"You good?" Jackson asks, looking at me hopefully.

I sniffle and force myself to smile, "I will be."

Jackson pushes himself up from where he was sitting and holds out his hand to help me up. I glance at his outstretched palm before slipping my hand in to his. He pulls me to my feet and as I go to step away, I feel his hand tighten in my own.

"I lost my best friend too." He states. He says it plainly, as though it's a mere fact and not a life altering occurrence. Something twitches behind his eyes as he says it but he pushes forward. "I'm not gonna get to plan a bachelor party for him or throw the football around with his kids. And it sucks."

"It sucks but I get it." He continues, placing both of his hands on my upper arms to insure that I am looking straight at him as he says this. "Unfortunately, I know pretty damn well exactly what you're going through right now. So, the next time you need a time out from…everything, just remember that I'm here. For you. I'm here," he announces honestly, "Okay?" he asks after a beat, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"Okay." I agree in a whisper, nodding in understanding.

"Good." he nods, dropping his hands from my arms and shoving them back in to his pockets as he turns on the sole of his shoe and climbing the one step between him and the porch. He seems awkward and embarrassed as he walks towards the door, two adjectives one does not normally use to describe Jackson Avery. He shouldn't feel that way though. I want to tell him that he should never have to feel that way with me ever again. After all, we were kind of each others' best friends now, right?

"So," I begin, my shoes clicking behind me as I try to catch up to him. "You gonna show off that mean chicken dance of yours?"

A wide smile breaks out across his face as he reaches for the door handle. "I'm not sure I'm in the mood to have Yang throw me out of her wedding." He chuckles.

I genuinely smile for the first time in a while and I can't help but note how foreign the action feels. I shrug and smile wider as Jackson holds the door open for me. "Some things are worth the risk, Avery."

_A/N: Hey all! So I've been trying to write a story based on the finale since…well, the finale! And I've come up with a 100 different ideas but I just couldn't write anything that I particularly liked so insteadddd I came up with this idea! Jackson and April have been put through a lot this season and I thought it might be nice to take a step back and remember how they got to where they are. So this is going to be my first multi-chapter story made up of drabbles spanning across every episode until at least the season 8 finale…possibly season 9 if I'm inspired and you guys like it enough. I'm going to do my best to write one every day or every other day unless otherwise stated. Hopefully you guys enjoyed this and are excited for more to come! Thanks for reading and please review!_

_P.S. I only remembered after this that Meredith doesn't even have a porch xD So that's my bad…but let's just pretend she has a back porch or something!_


	2. Shock to the System

"Are you sure about this, Meredith? Because, I mean, I'm sure I can find someplace else if this is too much…" April rambles on in her neurotic manner as Meredith works on unlocking the house.

"April," Meredith starts, shoving the door open. "I told you, it's fine. We're trying to be friends now and friends stick together, right?"

"Right!" April agrees cheerfully as she takes a step in to the foyer and adjusting the balance of weight of the cardboard box in her hands. She glances back at me as if to say _"We're in! They finally like us!"_ and I can't help but smirk back in reply at her gleeful expression.

"Where should I take this?" I call over April's shoulder, shaking the box in my hands.

"Oh, right." Meredith mutters, seemingly having forgotten that not everyone at Seattle Grace knows there way around the frat house despite the fact that if it felt that way sometimes. "Um, you can just take your stuff to the second floor. It'll be your third door on the right."

"And me?" April asks, smiling wide as she whips around to look at Meredith.

"Uh, you, April…you should be across the hall from Jackson." Meredith decides after having racked her brain for available rooms. She looks like she wants to say more as we move toward the stairs but bites her lip to stop herself.

Just as April and I start making our way up to our new rooms the sound of a pager causes all three of us to jump in to action and begin searching for our pagers like Pavlov's dogs.

"Not mine." April mumbles, sounding somewhat annoyed as she shoves the device back in her pocket.

"It's me." Meredith groans.

"You're leaving?" April asks worriedly, gripping on the banister as she leans forward, calling after Meredith. "Are you sure it's okay that we're here?"

"April, this is your house now too." She replies sounding slightly exasperated. At the stricken look on April's face she shifts her tone quickly and smiles to soften her words. "Make yourself at home."

April smiles again and nods as the door closes behind our blonde colleague.

"Let's go make ourselves at home." April suggests turning to me before speedily taking on the rest of the staircase leading to the second floor.

Watching her retreating figure I can't help but mutter, "Easier said than done."

An hour or so later, the sound of an old Elton John song fills the mostly empty house. Startled by the sound, I nearly knock over the box of books I am currently working on unpacking. When the music neither lowers nor changes I find my feet moving me through the hallway and down the stairs before my mind seems to have time to catch up.

I spot the sound system in the living room and reach to turn the dial down. When the volume is at an acceptably low level, I let out a breath of a relief.

"April!" I yell, not quite sure where to find her. "What the hell?"

"Sorry!" I hear a voice shout back in response from somewhere in the kitchen.

When I walk through the doorway of the kitchen, she is looking at me with a deer-in-the-headlights expression and biting her lip nervously. "I just hate the silence now." She explains quietly. "I'm sorry."

I sigh and walk closer to the kitchen island, noticing the plastic bowl and spatula she has resting between her body and her forearm. "What are you doing?" I question, leaning against the counter and eyeing the ingredients laid out before us.

She shrugs and goes back to stirring, "I thought I'd make Mere a _"Thanks for taking pity on us"_ treat. Do you think she likes brownies?"

"I think _everyone_ likes brownies…" I declare reaching forward and dipping two of my finger in the thick, brown batter. She slaps my hand away and I smile as I lick my fingers clean.

"So how did your surgery go today?" April asks as I jump up on the counter behind her. "Did she pull through?"

"Patient is stable." I inform her happily, licking my index finger again for good measure.

"That's good."

"Did you hear about Yang?"

"Yeah," April replies glumly, sounding genuinely upset. She's quiet as she pours the mix into the glass pan on the counter but I can practically see the wheels turning in her head. I'm just about to ask her what she's thinking when I hear her quietly ask, "Do you think she'll ever be the same Cristina again?"

I had no idea. Cristina Yang was one of those people like my grandfather: she was born for surgery. It was who she was. Seeing her on the floor in paralyzing fear today, I'll be honest, it shook me. Because it was at that moment I realized that if Cristina couldn't make it through this, none of us could.

I don't tell April this though. Instead, I simply shrug. "Well, we're sure not."

April looks at me then, her eyes cloudy, and nods. The silence stretches on until the oven dings to tell April it's fully preheated. Her eyes snap back into focus as she crashes back in to reality and turns around to place the tray in the over.

When she turns back around she goes to start cleaning up the mess but stops momentarily when she spots me glancing between her and the bowl longingly. She rolls her eyes but a grin makes its way on to her face as she dramatically huffs out a sigh. "Do you want to lick the sp…"

Before she can finish, I have snatched the bowl and spoon off the counter and race back toward my bedroom before she can change her mind.

"You're a child!" she calls after me, but I can tell she's laughing.

I grin happily and shout back, "Some things never change, Kepner."

_A/N: Thanks for reading! And please review! :)_

_Oh! And I forgot to mention this last time: if there is any specific idea that someone has that they'd like me to try and fit in at some point I'd love to hear them! I already have a good portion of all the episodes planned out but there are still some I'm completely drawing a blank on so hit me up with a review or PM and let me know! Thanks!_


	3. Superfreak

The knock is soft, so soft that I barely hear it. At any other time of day I wouldn't have but considering it's after one in the morning and everyone else passed out the minute we got home from Joe's, I do. Hear it, I mean.

"Come in…" I answer uncertainly, holding my novel to my chest.

I let out a sigh of relief I wasn't even aware I had been holding when Jackson appears, soundlessly shutting the door behind him.

"Couldn't sleep?" I question looking at him before returning my attention back to my book.

"Not really. It's easier not to anyway." He admits, scratching behind his ear. "Uh, what about you? You getting any sleep lately?"

I shrug. I manage not to break eye contact from the book in front of me as I echo, "It's easier not to anyway."

He swallows thickly and nods. He reaches to shove his hands in his pockets, something I've noticed he does when he's uncomfortable, but comes to find that his flannel sleep pants don't have pockets. Over the top of my book I see him chuckle to himself, his hands practically shaking at his sides.

"You wanna sit down?" I suggest, closing my paperback novel and placing it on my night stand.

"I don't want to keep you up." He protests, leaning his back against my bedroom door.

"You already keep me up so I'm used to it." I smile lightly to show I'm joking but the way his face falls causes my stomach to twist with guilt.

"I'm kidding."

"No, you're not."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not."

He turns to leave and I find myself calling him back but before I can get past the first syllable he has spun back around determinedly. He looks angry at first but he must be able to tell how confused and concerned I am because Jackson's features soften momentarily before hesitantly approaching the bed. He asks me if it's okay with his eyes and I simply slide over in response, giving him space to join me. It doesn't occur to me that this should feel strange until after he has already laid down beside me on top of the covers. In fact, it strikes me as odd at just how normal this all feels.

"Why did you never say anything?" he asks suddenly, peering up at me from his new position.

"About what?" I ask slowly.

He sighs, rubbing roughly at his tightly shut eyes. "About the nightmares, April. Why didn't you say anything?"

"You wouldn't have wanted me to."

He sits up, propping himself up against the bed frame. "Yeah but…"

"Look, Jackson," I breathe, "Everyone heals from trauma differently. I just look at this as your way of healing. And, listen, about earlier? I didn't mean to call you out like that in front of everybody. I was just annoyed and aggravated and embarrassed and…"

"It's fine. Really. I kinda deserved it." he confesses, lifting a corner of his mouth. "And about the whole virgin thing…"

I wince and physically recoil from him just slightly at his words. I never liked it when people first found out. Suddenly, I was no longer an equal in any sense of the word. I was either labeled as too innocent and virtuous or too prudish and immature. No good ever seemed to come from divulging that secret.

"Could we not…_ever_?" I ask hopefully. Maybe if we just dropped the topic all together while we were ahead, their reactions wouldn't get so out of hand. I might still be able to be viewed as an equal with the rest of them. As Alex and Jackson's mocking laughter from earlier resounds in my head, I realize it might just be too late.

"Okay." He agrees easily.

"Seriously?" I ask, raising my eyebrows in surprise.

"Sure," he says, holding back a yawn before saying, "I can't promise a joke or two won't slip out here and there but I'll try."

I nod and smile appreciatively. "That's all I ask."

"It's really not something you should feel embarrassed about…" Jackson states after a few beats of silence.

"Jackson!" I groan in annoyance. Hadn't we just agreed to _not_ talk about this?

"Just let me say this once and then we can officially never talk about it again." He argues.

"Fine." I reply through gritted teeth.

"I was wrong earlier when I said there's shame in it. I'm an ass. And when assholes like me…"

"Or like Karev." I add.

"Right." He smiles. "When assholes like me or Karev say crap just remember that there is some guy out there who is gonna be really happy you waited, April."

"That's…" I start, looking at him for a long time as I try to place my finger on the right word. Nice? Charming? Thoughtful? I shake my head as words blur together and instead go with a surprised sounding, "Thank you."

Jackson smirks at me in that telling way of his and says, "Any time."

As Jackson goes to leave, I reach for my novel again only to be interrupted by the sound of his voice.

"Can I ask one more thing?"

"Hmm?" I look up at him expectantly.

"How far have you gone exactly?" he asks with a grin.

I laugh loudly as I shake my head back and forth. "Uh-uh. No way. We are so _not_ having this conversation!"

"Oh come on…" he probes when the sound of pounding on the other side of the wall shuts him up.

"Hey, newbies! Some of us are trying to sleep so shut the hell up!" Karev growls out.

Jackson and I meet each other's eyes from across the room and I have to bite my lip to suppress a laugh.

"Goodnight, Jackson." I whisper, still laughing, as he opens the door to slip back across the hall to his room.

He smiles over his shoulder and replies, "Goodnight, April," before shutting the door behind him.

_A/N: Thanks so much for all the kind reviews! :) I'm glad people really seem to like the story! Keep those reviews coming and, as always, thanks for reading!_


	4. Can't Fight Biology

I do a double take over my shoulder as I reenter the bathroom to ensure that Lexie is gone before asking, "What was that all about?" as I rejoin April at the sink.

She looks at me in the reflection of the mirror as she brushes her teeth. "Nothing." she assures me, the syllables sounding strange between the bristles of the toothbrush.

"You sure about that?" I ask skeptically recalling the way Lexie had physically shoved both him and Karev out of the room minutes before. I glance at her from the corner of my eye as I reach across the sink to grab the toothpaste. She seems to be contemplating whether or not to tell me more but decides against it and merely nods in confirmation. She tries to smile at me to show that everything is okay but ends up revealing a mouth full of minty foam. A low chuckle escapes me before I begin to brush my own teeth. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder we continue to brush in comfortable silence.

After leaning over and spitting out the toothpaste residue into the sink April speaks up. "What would say to the idea of me putting up a chore wheel?" she asks timidly, wiping the corners of her mouth with a wash cloth.

I raise an eyebrow in her direction. "Why?" I ask holding out the word, removing the toothbrush from my mouth momentarily.

She shrugs and traces circles with her index finger on the porcelain sink while avoiding eye contact.

"Didn't you and Reed have one of those?" I ask, suddenly recalling the color coordinated chart that had been pinned to the refrigerator in their apartment every week without fail. She nods excitedly, clearly happy that I remembered. "It seemed to work there, right?"

"Exactly!" she exclaims taking a seat on the closed toilet seat and beginning to comb through her makeup bag. April finds what she was looking for and starts lathering herself with some kind of sweet smelling lotion.

"I mean your place was always a hundred times cleaner than Charles and mine's was."

"That's because it was you and Charles." She smiles teasingly, rubbing the lotion between her hands.

"You make a fair point there." I chuckle fondly. It was nice being able to talk about them. To be allowed to talk about our memories without all the pain associated with them, if only for a moment.

Once I have finished brushing my teeth I run the brush under cold water and turn to leave when a nagging feeling in my gut causes me stay.

I don't know what it was about April that had me telling and asking her things that I would feel uncomfortable saying to any other person. Maybe it was the fact that I'd known her for years or because we were going through the same experience right now. Maybe I just liked hearing what she had to say. Whatever the reason may be, the next thing I know the words "Do you think I'm a dumb blonde?" come tumbling out of my mouth.

She stills for a moment before bursting into giggles. "What?!" she asks between laughs.

"Stop it," I tell her smiling, half laughing myself. "I'm serious."

She covers her mouth to hold back her laughter until she regains her composure and asks, "What in the world would make you ask me that?"

"Karev and I overheard Dr. Altman talking about how I'm just a pretty face this morning and then when I was on her service I basically just kept proving her right all day."

"Jackson, you're an Avery." She states as though that is explanation enough. "Surgery is practically encoded in your DNA."

"I know!" I groan angrily, beginning to pace. "Which makes the fact that Dr. Altman seems to think that my brain is located in my abs so much worse!"

"She does not think that." April says seriously.

"Not anymore," I admit. "But only because she came in to the locker room and grilled me on cardiac procedure."

"See!" April points at me excitedly. "You proved yourself. You had to do the same thing at Mercy West. Remember the intern appy?"

I stop pacing momentarily and rub my hand over my face. "Yeah. I mean, I guess you're right..."

"Of course I'm right!" she smirks. "Look, you proved yourself at Mercy West and now it's time to step it up and do it again at Seattle Grace." She instructs, standing up and approaching me. "You're so much more than your looks, Jackson. So, start acting like it."

I turn my head but remain in place as April walks past me, patting my shoulder good naturedly along the way.

Just to get on her nerves I can't help but call out after her, "So you're admitting I have good looks?" as she rounds the corner.

I can hear her laughter bounce off the walls of the hallway as she makes her way to her bedroom. "Goodnight, Jackson."

"Goodnight, April." I say to the empty bathroom.

_A/N: So it wasn't really intentional to have the first and second chapter endings and now the third and the fourth chapter endings mirror each other but they do and that's ok and maybe it'll be a thing or maybe not :) But you might not have even noticed so I should probably just stop talking. _

_But anywhooo, I'm kinda stumped about the next chapter so it might be a minute before I post it. I'll probably just have to do a re-watch and come up with something :) But thanks again for reading and reviewing!_


	5. Almost Grown

"Damn it!" Jackson growls out, accompanied by the sound of a cracking egg shell. He drops the broken shell in the near overflowing trash bin at his side in aggravation as I walk through the doors of the skills lab. "Kepner!" he groans.

"What?" I ask bewildered.

"Don't mind him." Meredith informs me from her own station, never removing her eyes from the task at hand. "He's just pissy because he knows I'm gonna win this thing." She announces triumphantly.

Jackson rolls his eyes silently as I place my lunch tray on the counter and take the empty seat next to him. "Whatever, Grey. I'm still not totally convinced Derek won't just give this to you to get laid."

"He won't need to." She says, her stool scraping against the floor as she stands to leave. "I'm gonna win on pure talent." She smiles confidently as she glides past his station and stage whispers, "You should try it sometime," before exiting the room.

I'm about to ask Jackson what the problem is when he turns towards me to reveal a devilish smile.

"What?" I ask lifting my eyebrows in suspicion and biting into a celery stick.

Jackson quickly takes another egg from the carton and begins to work meticulously fast. The whirring of the small saw against the shell soon stops. Victoriously, Jackson holds up a perfectly intact egg with the initials J.A. etched on one side.

"I still don't understand what's going on." I confess as I stir the contents of my applesauce cup.

Jackson turns and pulls the waste basket out enough so that I may see inside. "You see all those eggs?"

I nod.

"Does it really look like I needed all those eggs?"

I shake my head "no" from side to side.

"I'm hustling her, April." He explains, saying it as though he were speaking to a child.

I glare at him as I say, "That's pretty slimy."

He shrugs and reaches over to steal a celery stick. "You know as well as I do that surgery is a dog-eat-dog world." He says between bites. Swallowing he adds, "Besides, she needs to be taken down a peg. She's got a pretty big head going in to this."

I scoff. "I don't think you have any room to talk about someone else's ego, Jackson." He was acting so cocky and it was only adding to my irritation from the rest of my day. I guess I should be used to it by now though. He'd been this way through our entire intern year. However, it only seemed fair to tolerate this behavior on the rare occasions he acted this way. I put up with his egotistical tendencies from time to time and he dealt with my neurotic behavior when no else would. It's what made us work.

"I'm taking your advice. I'm stepping it up." He declares proudly, echoing my sentiment from days earlier and shooting me a smile.

Despite my annoyance with him and practically everything else going on in my life today, I can't help but smile at this. I guess I wasn't used to people trusting my opinion. Even Reed would rarely agree with what I had to say. In fact, she'd usually go with the opposite choice just to get on my nerves. Jackson was different.

"What's the matter?" Jackson asks, studying me closely as I snap out of my train of thought. Suddenly, his self-obsessed jerk side disappears as though he were never there at all. Sometimes I wish he had shown this side to me during our time at Mercy West. Maybe then we could have become better friends without the stain of tragedy.

"Nothing," I mumble unconvincingly, resting my chin atop of my water bottle.

"Talk to me." He insists, nudging me with his elbow.

I sigh but give in easily to his request. "It's just…Cristina and I have been working on this potential lung transplant patient and she just won't take it seriously! It's like I'm talking to a wall!" I cry, throwing my hands up exasperatedly. "And we are supposed to make a decision on whether or not to recommend this guy for the transplant by four o'clock today because we called this stupid panel and every time I ask Cristina..."

"She won't talk?" he fills in the blanks.

"No!" I exclaim. "Can't we just trade for the day? I'm so much more comfortable in neuro."

Jackson smiles and shakes his head, holding up the initialed egg. "Not a chance."

It's at that very moment that Meredith appears again, pushing through the swinging door with Cristina at her side.

"Ugh!" Jackson grunts as he throws the perfectly executed egg in the trash.

"He's losing it." Meredith whispers to the other twisted sister as Jackson winks at me surreptitiously.

"Hey, Cristina." I swallow a large bite of my sandwich before speaking again. "How's Roy doing?"

When she doesn't answer I look pointedly at Jackson, widening my eyes as though to say "_See!_" and standing up to leave. "Well," I begin, tightly gripping my lunch tray, "I'm going to check on _my_ patient." I put the emphasis on "my" to see if it might spark a reaction but it doesn't so with a huff I head for the door.

"Hey, April!" Jackson calls out, grabbing my elbow before I can walk away. I hadn't even heard him follow me into the hallway.

"I just wanted to say that you shouldn't let Cristina ruin your day. We're attendings today!" he says shaking my shoulders playfully, making it near impossible not to smile. "We've gotta make this time count. You're a good doctor, April. I know you'll make the right decision."

Walking backwards, he salutes me before disappearing behind the swinging door leading back to the skills lab.

I bite my lip as I turn on my heel and head down the hall, suddenly feeling hopeful again. I pray silently that, for my sake and for Roy's, Jackson is right.

_A/N: Ok so I had a tough time with this chapter but the one thing I really wanted to have happen was for Jackson to support April through something the way she did with him last chapter…I hope I did an okay job of showing that :) I'm really excited to write the next couple of chapters though because they are some of my all time favorite episodes! Oh! And shout out to Reveriemare and for offering their ideas! You guys rock! Thanks for reading and please review!_


	6. These Arms of Mine

Doctor Altman finds me after the cameras had stopped rolling. To say I was a little surprised to hear that the cardio surgeon was looking for me would be an understatement. I wasn't on her service and, truthfully, she never really seemed to like me all the much even when I was.

"Kepner," Teddy calls out, making me jump from my position at the nurses' station.

"Hey, Doctor Altman…" I reply unsurely as she leans against the counter, my eyebrows knitting together in confusion. I quickly sign the chart I was finishing up and snap it closed. "What's up?"

"You and Doctor Avery are friends, right? Good friends?" she asks even though she already knows the answer to her own question. She wouldn't be asking me if she didn't. Nothing at this hospital was much of a secret.

"Um, yeah. Yeah, we're close, I guess." I say avoiding eye contact as I try to downplay our friendship as best as I can. Truth be told, I wasn't sure how Jackson viewed our relationship. We'd been closer lately, sure, but even that seemed more like survival mode at times. I didn't want to tell her that he was basically my best friend now in fear that word might get back to Jackson and he might not feel the same way. I didn't want to seem like I cared too much. I was always the one who cared too much.

She nodded and pressed her lips together before leaning forward so that the few nurses ambling around might not overhear. "You should go check on him. He…" she stops and weighs her choice of words before deciding on, "He's had a rough day."

"Where is he?" I ask immediately, all thoughts of caring what people think about our relationship fleeing my mind.

"He's over at Joe's." she reveals.

Before my brain can catch up with the rest of my body, my feet are moving me away from the nurse's station and down to the resident's lounge. I change quickly, and am just about to leave when Meredith and Cristina walk through the doors talking lowly.

"Hey, Virgin Mary." Cristina says almost robotically as she steps up to her cubby, removing the stethoscope from her neck.

"Is everything okay, April?" Meredith asks curiously as she shrugs out of her lab coat.

"I'm fine." I lie, my voice practically shaking. Cristina doesn't seem to notice nor care but Meredith eyes me suspiciously. I chew on my bottom lip, uncertain whether or not to ask but I need to know what I'm going in to when I go over there. "Do you guys know what happened with Jackson today?"

"You didn't hear?" Cristina pipes up, seeming to have started paying attention to the conversation again.

I shake my head back and forth vigorously and sit on the bench as Cristina launches into her explanation of the faulty security system and just how it involved our colleague.

The bell above Joe's rings out fifteen minutes later as I push through the door in search of Jackson. I look around and spot him slumped forward at the counter with his back turned to me. Joe smiles graciously at me as if he already knows the reason I'm here and is thankful for my presence. I can only manage a nod in acknowledgement.

I approach him gingerly and lightly place my hand on his shoulder as I fall into the seat next to him silently. He snaps his head up and I notice his eyes are blood shot and narrowed. He looks as though he is searching for a fight but when he sees that it's me his face drops and he goes back to nursing his drink.

I let my hand drop from his shoulder and swallow before announcing, "I heard about today."

He scoffs bitterly before tossing back the contents of his drink. When he finishes the rest of his scotch in one gulp, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "I don't want to talk about it if that's why you're here."

It hurt to see him like this. He was the one who was supposed to keep his cool about everything. That's why our relationship worked so well. We balanced each other out. It was scary when things were the other way around for once.

A part of me just wanted to reach out and hold him, tell him that it was okay to cry. I sure have done it enough. But another part of me, the same part that kept me firmly planted in my bed at night when I could hear him screaming across the hall, knew he wouldn't do that. It wasn't him. That's not what he needed.

I stand up from the bar stool, fully prepared to tell Joe that I'd be waiting outside in the car until Jackson was ready. I go to reach for money to pay for his tab when I feel his shaking hand fold over mine. When I look up he's staring at me with nearly crystal blue eyes, a tell tale sign he's about to fall apart. Everything slows down in the world, in _my_ world when he looks at me like that.

"Stay." He breathes pleadingly. "Could you please just…stay here with me?"

In that moment I would have done anything for him. So I shoot him a closed lip smile and simply take back my rightful seat at his side in response.

The speed of the world returns to normal as he sniffs and nods in acknowledgement before returning his focus back to the drink in front of him. We sat like that for hours. I would have been convinced that he had forgotten I was there completely if it weren't for the way he never let go of my hand once the rest of the night.

_A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this latest update :) I actually wrote this one before I even started the last one because I was just so excited to write this scene. I know many people don't like this out of the ordinary episode but I've always been a big fan of this one…especially the part where Jackson has his break down. It's the first time you really got to see Jackson give the audience any feedback as to what he was feeling after the shooting. I wish we had gotten something similar with April but alas. But you guys are probably bored of hearing me ramble so thanks for reading and please review! Thanks so much!_


	7. That's Me Trying

I lean forward from my spot on the couch and scrunch my eyebrows together at the sound of Alex Karev and April Kepner laughing together as they walk through the front door. I don't think I've ever even seen them so much as smile at each other in the hallway and all of the sudden they were laughing together like life-long pals? Wasn't it only hours ago he was telling her she didn't have any friends?

April catches my eye over Karev's shoulder and I raise my eyebrows at her suspiciously. She quickly turns her attention back to the surly pediatric surgeon and smiles.

"I actually had a pretty good time today, Kepner." he admits, scratching behind his ear. I can't help the eye roll the escapes me.

"Me too!" she agrees gleefully, bouncing on the soles of her feet.

"You were bad ass." he tells her honestly, grinning widely.

My eyebrows furrow and I squint my eyes in confusion at this. April Kepner was a _bad ass_? Yeah right.

"It was kinda hot." He tells her causing her to blush from ear to ear.

"Give me a break." I mutter under my breath bitterly.

"Thanks," she accepts graciously, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Her eyes are wide and hopeful like she is expecting him to give her a kiss goodnight or something. "You were pretty great too."

I take a swig of my beer to hold back anymore comments as Alex wishes her a goodnight before retreating up the stairs.

April watches him until he disappears before kicking off her shoes and practically skipping over to the join me on the couch.

"What the hell?" I ask pronouncing every word precisely.

"What?" she asks innocently burrowing deeper into her corner of the couch.

"You know what." I tell her, jutting my chin in the direction of the stairs. I try to keep my voice light while I say it. I don't want her to think I'm jealous or something. Cause I'm not. It's just…it's Karev!

"That?" she says pointing her thumb back to the foyer. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "It was nothing," she insists.

My head falls to the side as I stare at her seriously. She seems to sense that I'm not buying into it but chooses to ignore me anyway. Instead, she reaches forward and takes the near empty bottle from my hand before stealing a small sip.

She hands the bottle back over without looking at me, keeping her eyes glued to the basketball game on TV. It's not that she's interested; it's just her way of showing that she's done with the conversation. With a sigh I concede to her silent demand and turn back toward the television, turning the sound back up.

"I picked my specialty today." She announces during the next commercial break.

"Trauma?" I ask raising my voice in surprise.

She bites down on her lip and fights back a full out grin as she nods. "Yeah. Trauma."

For as long as I had known April her focus had been neurology. During our time at Mercy West she followed the head of the neuro department, Doctor Cochran, like she was his shadow. And she practically worshipped Doctor Shepherd when we first arrived at Seattle Grace. In the weeks since the shooting I have noticed her infatuation with the married man has almost entirely disappeared. Apparently, she had just transferred it over to Karev.

"So I'm assuming the rest of the certification went well?" I smirk, muting the television.

"I hijacked an ambulance." She confesses, glancing at me with wide eyes trying to gage my reaction.

I choke on my beer. "What?!" I guffaw.

April nods but doesn't explain further. She has this far off look in her eye like she is reliving all the moments of today in her mind. The dreamy smile on her face really makes me wish I would have stayed, that I could have been there for her like I promised I would.

"Why trauma?" I ask suddenly, drawing her out of her memory.

She blinks rapidly at first, looking surprised by the question more than anything. She stares at me for a long time before speaking.

"Did you know that Charles could've been saved that day?" she questions causing me to swallow thickly.

I knew. Oh course I knew. It's why I had nightmares every night.

"A lot of people could have been but we didn't have the proper training," she sighs, pursing her lips bitterly. "I just…In the future, I want to stop other people from having to lose their own Reed and Charles."

April Kepner had always kind of been an open book to me. Even long before we became the kind of friends we are now. The way she squints when she's lying or how she bites her lip when she's nervous, I know it all. So when she says stuff like that, stuff that surprises me, it really knocks the wind out of me.

Regaining my composure, I push myself off the couch and walk into the kitchen. I pull on the handle of the refrigerator and pull out another bottle of beer. When I return back to the kitchen with the alcohol in hand April immediately begins to shake her head.

"Jackson, I can't," she claims. "I already had enough to drink at Joe's and I think I'm going to bed soon…"

"Would you relax?" I smile down at her. "It doesn't have to be for drinking. It's for toasting."

"What are we toasting to?" she asks skeptically, cautiously taking the beer from my outstretched hand.

"To you." I tell her, reaching down and grabbing my own beer bottle. "And so that other people may not have to lose their own Reed and Charles."

She studies me for a moment before a corner of her mouth lifts upwards, "Cheers?"

"Cheers," I confirm, pride swelling within me as our bottles clink together.

_A/N: I know I say it every chapter but I want to thank you all so much for your feedback! It's so wonderful and it really makes it easy to keep up with these daily updates :) But anyway, I really love this episode. I obviously love all of the bad ass April Kepner stuff but I also really like the part where Jackson defends April in front of Alex…it's one of my favorite friendship moments of theirs so I've been really excited to write this chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed this latest update and I can't wait to hear what you have to say! Thanks for reading and please review! :D_


	8. Something's Gotta Give

I suck air in between my teeth as I place a new bag of ice on my still throbbing hand. The pain had subsided some from earlier in the evening but, honestly, it still hurt like a bitch. Thankfully, nothing was broken so I should be able to operate in the near future. That had been everyone's first concern. Punching people took on a whole new level of seriousness when your entire career essentially rests upon the safety of your hands.

I close my eyes and clench my jaw tightly, remembering the sound of April's sobs and the look of pure heartbreak on her face as she recounted what had happened in the on call room. I decide then that it was worth it.

"Hey," April greets from the doorway, my eye fluttering open at the sound of her voice. I'm slightly surprised to see her there, having thought that I was the only one who had sleeping problems. "How you feeling?" she asks gesturing to my hand as she moves to take a spot next to me at the dinner table.

I shrug, "I'll live."

"You shouldn't have done that," she mutters, shaking her head and avoiding eye contact as she says so. "Alex didn't…"

"Don't," I warn her sternly. "Don't you dare go feeling sorry for that douche. He deserved it after what he did to you."

She blinks a few times and nods before looking away.

"You deserve so much better." I tell her, hoping that she can hear the sincerity behind my words.

She shakes her head disbelievingly as she bows her head and begins to cry quietly, placing her hand over her mouth to contain her sobs.

In this moment she looks so…broken. This makes me really want to show her that I truly believe in what I am saying. But mostly it just makes me want to punch Alex Karev in the face all over again. I know it can be hard for her to trust in compliments sometimes because people make fun of her a lot. I get that. But I'd always seen it as more of a little sister, "_We all love you but you're such an easy target_" kind of teasing. Seeing her like this though only confirms my fear that she doesn't see it that way and it makes me sad to know that she doesn't see the good things in herself. She really doesn't know how special she is.

Trying my best to convey all of my feelings for her at once, I reach forward and cup her cheek, wiping away a few stray tears. I lift her chin up lightly when she opens her eyes as the tears diminish and stare at her meaningfully. She sniffles and offers up a wobbly smile.

"Let's stop talking about it," she suggests pulling away from my hand and letting it fall back at my side. I grunt in agreement. She nudges me with her foot underneath the table and asks, "In fact, let's stop talking about me. How about you? How did the rest of your day go? Did you get to operate at all?"

I close my eyes and breathe deeply out of my nose as I nod. "My patient died from a post operative pancreatic fistula." I can hear her sharp intake of breath closed as I rub my hand over my face, keeping my eyes closed and mumble, "I'm a failure."

"You're not a failure," she insists lightly, letting her hand rest on top of my own.

"My patient died today, April! All I had to do was monitor fluid dripping into a stupid plastic bag and now someone's aunt or mother or cousin is dead because of _me_." I yell in frustration, all the reasons behind the too many shots taken in Cristina Yang's kitchen before April's arrival rushing back in one, big angry blur. "That makes me a failure."

"No, it doesn't."

"April…" I groan, not in to mood to argue with her.

"Did you do everything you could to save that woman's life?"

"Yes."

"Did you check on her at every chance you could?"

"Well, yeah."

"See," April says solemnly. "She didn't die because of _you_. She died from a pancreatic fistula and you know as well as I do that those are almost impossible to catch." She waits until I nod in agreement before continuing on. When I do she resumes by saying, "The body is messed up beyond repair sometimes and, sure, it's our job to fix it to the best of our abilities but it's not always possible. You did that today. That doesn't make you a failure, Jackson. That just makes you a doctor."

She squeezes my good hand lightly before standing to leave.

I don't know what makes me do it but suddenly I'm reaching out and grabbing her hand to stop her from leaving. When she turns around and looks down at me my breath hitches as I tell her, "Thank you."

She catches me off guard when she leans down and softly presses her lips to my cheek. At the sight of my surprised expression she smiles one of those crinkly eyed smiles and laughs. "I think I should be the one saying that."

She throws a faint goodnight over her shoulder before heading back up stairs, leaving me to smile to myself even as I flex my sore hand. "Yeah," I say lowly, glancing down at the bruises that have already began to form, "So worth it."

_A/N: So I know this episode was a very big one for a lot of Japril shippers, myself included, and I hope I lived up to everyone's expectations. I always wished we had gotten a scene like the one we saw Lexie and Jackson have after he has fought Karev but I didn't think either of them would be as open and honest with other people around as they are with just each other. I'm so glad everyone is enjoying the story so far and I hope this chapter is no exception! :) Thanks for all the lovely feedback as well as for reading and please review! :D_


	9. Slow Night, So Long

My eyes are locked on the barrel of a gun. "Please." I beg as Derrick Sheppard lets out a cough proceeded by a groan of agony from the floor. Everything I've ever been taught tells me to help him, yet when my eyes lock with Gary Clark's and the word "Run" passes from his lips, my body can do nothing else but that: run.

I sprint full speed down the corridor and realize that it's reminiscent of races my sisters and I used to have when we were kids in Moline. But this is nothing like those summers down the hill. In this moment the only thing that is propelling me forward is the fear for my own life.

When I finally allow myself to stop I press my body up against the wall and slide down it until I make contact with the floor. I tuck my knees underneath my chin and allow the eerie soundlessness of the hospital to surround me.

When Cristina finds me I don't know how much time has passed. A part of me hopes that it has been days and that Cristina has only found me to tell me that the swat team took down Mr. Clark and everybody lived but I know that's not true. One thought back to that supply closet tells me that.

"Kepner!" she hisses and I don't even bother looking up. My focus stays on the wall as I mumble something about the Oprah interview I couldn't stop thinking about. She ignores my comment, picks me up, and somehow convinces me that the floor is clear enough that we are safe to walk around to look for an attending. My mind flashes back to my boss lying in his own blood.

I had always liked that hallway. The all white walls and flooring made me feel some sort of peace in a building full of 24 hour chaos. Now, it would forever be stained with the memory of Derek Sheppard's blood.

When I lace my arm through Christina's I expect to hear some form of protest but instead she just gives my hand a light squeeze and continues down the hall.

Without warning, a door flies open. My voice and Christina's meet to form one single scream as we both huddle together quickly. "You are not supposed to be wandering around down here," a familiar voice growls out.

Jackson. He's alive.

I can feel another round of tears just begging to burst out from behind my eyes but I know that these are tears of relief. A much welcomed change.

His lips are moving but nothing he is saying is computing because just over his shoulder I notice the movement of a figure rounding the corner.

It can't be…but it is.

The sound of the gun shot hits my ears before it hits Jackson but when he finally turns around it's too late. One shot, forehead, between the eyes. Just like Reed.

Before the blood can begin to pool around him, my eyes snap shut again. I press my hands to my head and scream, startling those around me. Or it would have…if it had been real.

When I open my eyes again, I worry I'm still in a nightmare and that Gary Clark is just waiting behind the corner. My eyes bounce around the room frantically as I take in my surroundings until somewhere in my brain it registers that I'm in my bedroom at Meredith Grey's frat house. And Reed is still dead.

My breathing is heavy, I'm clutching on to the comforter, and the pillow is wet but I can't tell if that's from sweat or tears.

"April?" a voice calls out to me. Again, this time more panicked and angry the voice shouts, "April?!"

My eyes focus in on the blurred object standing over that seems to have shaken me awake. Eventually, the image becomes clearer and I can see Jackson staring down at me worriedly as my lower lip trembles.

I breathe out his name shakily fighting the urge to reach out and touch him. Tears begin to sting my eyes as relief floods through my whole body to see him there, alive and healthy.

"Move over," he commands, his voice leaving no room for argument.

I silently shift over, throwing back the blanket on the other side as he rounds the bed. When he slides in beside me he startles me slightly by grabbing a hold of my waist and pulling my back to his chest.

"Jackson…" I say hesitantly.

"Shut up," he whispers, surprising me yet again. He seems to be able to feel how tense I am and turns me around slightly to look at him. Staring down at me while propped up on his forearm he says, "You had a nightmare. And we both know that I have had my fair share of them these past few months so I know what you're going through."

"I'm even going to see someone about it soon. A therapist or something," he reveals tentatively. My eyes widen in delight but I remain quiet. It isn't often that he openly talks about his issues involving the shooting and I never push him to so I don't want to open my big mouth and say something to scare him off.

He reaches forward, swipes a piece of hair off my forehead and tucks it behind my ear, his hand lingering as he sweetly smiles down at me. "So just let me do this for you. I can't do much but I can do this," he tells me confidently. "Okay?"

"Okay." I agree breathlessly. I turn back around in his arms and burrow deeper in to his chest, praying that he can't feel my erratically beating heart. It doesn't take me long to fall asleep but as I do Doctor Bailey's words of, albeit drunken, advice resound in my ears and I can't help but imagine that this was exactly what she was talking about.

_A/N: So I know this chapter is kind of strange because half of it takes place in a dream but I just couldn't stop writing it. The biggest of shout outs and thank yous go to Reveriemare who gave me the idea for the chapter at the very beginning of this story…she said she wanted to see April experience her own nightmare and how Jackson would deal with that and I hope I did it justice :) I thought this would be a good place for that type of scene because at the beginning of the actual episode is when the audience sees Jackson have a nightmare for the first time and Lexie comforts him but I always secretly wished it had been April so I did my best to fix that without actually changing anything. Thanks again for reading and please review! :)_


	10. Adrift and at Peace

On the walk back from Joe's I decide that it's too early to head home for the night so, instead, I end up back at the hospital. Dejectedly, I make my way back to Seattle Grace Mercy West, trying to mentally discard the image of Lexie Grey and Mark Sloan making love sick eyes at each other.

I am _not_ jealous. I'm not. But Lexie is my friend, who just happens to be incredibly hot, and I don't want to see the narcissistic plastics head hurt her more than he already has. "Plastics," I scoff bitterly as I kick at a rock on the sidewalk. She could do so much better.

I'm not on call tonight and even if I was it is one of those really slow nights, the kind that leave surgeons selfishly hoping an appendix will burst so that they may see the inside of an OR. As I walk aimlessly around the near deserted hospital, my stomach lets out a low growl and I end up at the vending machines. That's where Doctor Bailey finds me.

"Avery!" she calls out in that intimidating tone of hers. I stand up straighter at the sight of her and try to smile as she approaches me. Alex had told me once that their intern group referred to her as the Nazi. It was moments like these that made me understand.

"Hey Doctor Bailey," I say curiously as I lean down to retrieve my bag of chips.

"Where is Kepner?" she demands.

I shrug as I slip another dollar in the machine, skimming my eyes over the different selections. "Not sure why?"

She huffs and tells me "Never mind," before stomping off down the hallway, mumbling something about having to do everything herself.

I watch her retreating silhouette until she disappears behind a corner. I consider her question more carefully and bite the inside of my cheek as I contemplate where I would find her. I glance at the vending machine and quickly punch in the code for the licorice before heading off in search of April

I check the on call rooms, the pit, and the residents' locker room to no avail. It isn't until I check the tunnels that I find her fast asleep on an abandoned cart. She is turned on her side and her legs are tucked up just enough that I have enough room to sit down beside her.

In a moment of pure childishness, I jump on the cot in hopes of startling her awake. She snorts as she sits up worriedly. She rubs at her eyes before looking around, clearly disoriented. When her eyes land on me they narrow.

"Peace offering?" I ask through a mouthful of chips, holding up the pack of licorice. She sighs and extends her out hand expectantly. I smile to myself victoriously as I hand over the candy.

We eat in comfortable silence for some time. I eventually empty the rest of the junk out of my pockets on to the empty space between us on the cart.

"What are you even doing here?" she asks, swallowing another bite of her favorite childhood treat. "Aren't you supposed to be off saving your damsel in distress from the big, bad womanizer?" she bristles sarcastically.

"Well, it didn't look like she needed much saving," I mumble sullenly, taking a big bite out of my chocolate cupcake.

I can feel her eyes watching me as I continue to devour the dessert. She must be able to see something in my eyes that tells her just how disappointed I am by the whole thing because she reaches across the junk food and touches my hand lightly.

"I don't know much about Mark and Lexie's relationship but one thing I do know is people who are meant to be together will be together in the end."

I eye her wearily and take my hand back, "Alright, alright. Don't go all fortune cookie on me." I groan but smile at her to show that I'm only joking.

"On a happier note," I begin, trying to draw the attention away from tonight's disappointments. "You should be thinking about how lucky you are right now."

"Lucky?" she asks, her forehead wrinkling in confusion. "Why?"

Placing my hands behind my head, I lean back and grin, "Because as my best friend I give you permission to come and observe firsthand when I perform that gallbladder surgery."

April rolls her brown eyes at me and huffs, "You never officially won, you know."

"I know, but you did officially lose." I tell her, receiving a harsh glare as I smirk in her direction. "Besides, I'm gonna win." I comment confidently.

She throws a piece of licorice at my head and I just barely dodge it. She sticks her tongue out at me and crosses her arms across her chest, angrily chewing on another piece of the red candy. "Shut up," she grumbles.

I push myself off the cart and hold out my hand. When she looks at it skeptically I tell her, "Come on. Let's go patrol for cases or something."

"I don't know if you noticed but I was actually _sleeping_," she points out.

"Yeah but now I've filled you up on sugar so let's go," I complain, shaking my hand again hoping she'll take it. Sighing deeply, she agrees and I pull her up off the cot easily.

Stopping at the foot of the staircase, I see her biting her lip. "What's on your mind?" I ask her knowingly, raising my eyebrows.

"You called me your best friend," she mumbles.

"What?"

"You said I'm your best friend," she repeats louder this time, her voice echoing off the basement walls. I laugh as she shrinks into herself a little at the sound.

"Well, yeah," I tell her plainly, shrugging my shoulders. "I guess you are."

Even in the dim light of the tunnel I can tell she is trying to hold back a smile because I am too.

_A/N: Thanks for the all the reviews from the last couple of chapters everyone…I really appreciate them all. All of these drabbles will be canon so expect some Jackson/Lexie and April/Stark stuff is coming up soon. But for the most part, expect more Japril. These are their moments after all. Other people might just start to play roles in them as well. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this latest update :) I really liked writing this one for some reason…it just felt really easy and natural which is one of my favorite things about their friendship. As always, thanks for reading and please, please, please review!_


	11. Disarm

Today has been by all means a great day. What could have easily become one of the most notorious shooting tragedies in years had become a medical miracle. And _I_ played a role in it. This is the kind of stuff that doctors dream of. So why is it that I can't seem to stop crying?

"You are such a mess!" I scoff to myself wiping roughly at my eyes with a crumpled tissue from inside my lab coat pocket.

"Pull it together, April." I instruct myself, attempting to take deep breaths but resulting in only shaky sobs.

The sound of the other residents approaching the lounge causes my heart to jump into my throat and I, in turn, stop crying. Hastily, I shove the used tissues back in to my pocket and wipe roughly at my cheeks to rid my face of any tear streaks.

The group continues to laugh as they barrel through the doors of the resident's longue. I sniffle but they can't hear me over the sound.

I step up to my locker and am just beginning to slip off my white lab coat when Jackson appears beside me. "Hey," he greets casually.

I smile up at him but quickly glance away as I untie the strings of my scrubs pants. I keep my eyes focused on the task at hand but I can feel his eyes watching me closely.

"Do you guys want to meet up over at Joe's?" Meredith calls from the other side of the room, cutting through the silence.

"I'm in," Alex proclaims, reaching for his jacket that's hanging up in his cubby. "I could really use a drink after today," Meredith nods in agreement and then eyes us hopefully.

I go to tell her that I should probably just head home when Jackson's voice cuts me off, "Yeah, sure. That sounds good."

"See you guys over there." Alex says over his shoulder, not waiting for my response, before they head for the door.

When the door swings shut behind them Jackson turns back to his locker and whips off his scrub top. "What a day, huh?" he comments as he slides a long sleeved shirt over his head.

"Yeah," I say, smiling sincerely as I remember the elated feeling I had felt after saving the cop with Chief Webber and then again watching from that gallery. "Yeah, it's been a good day," I say feeling the tears start to well in my eyes again.

I curse silently as I turn my body away from Jackson, hoping that he won't see the shaking of my shoulders. I try to calm myself as best as I can but I clearly am not doing too great of a job because, suddenly, I am being turned back around and swept up into Jackson's arms, pressed tightly against his chest.

The tears don't remain silent much longer as I openly weep into Jackson's chest. He lowers us to the wooden bench below and begins to stroke my arm soothingly, shushing me in an attempt to calm me down.

It had seemed like all day he had been hesitant to touch me, afraid that it may cause me to ultimately fall apart. In retrospect, he had probably been smart in his approach. Because I would have. Fallen apart, that is. But I hadn't been allowed to do so, not in the ER. I had to be a doctor first, above everything else. Right now though, I was just another person in the world reeling from this almost tragedy.

Sniffling loudly and trying to even out my breath once again, I pull away from Jackson, causing his arm to fall from my shoulders. "I feel…" I start, rubbing away loose tears underneath both of my eyes with the side of my hand. "I feel like I'm crazy!"

"You're not crazy," he assures immediately, not even having to think about his answer.

"I just…can't…stop…_crying_!" I tell him between shaky breaths and a fresh round of tears.

When I open my eyes again he wordlessly offers me tissues. I'm not sure where they came from exactly but I'm just thankful to have them. And to have him.

"You told me once that we all heal from trauma in different ways. And crying is a pretty natural way of dealing with things like this. So this," he says reaching out and brushing the pads of his thumb across my cheek to wipe away a stray tear, "This does _not_ make you crazy."

I nod in understanding, "Okay."

"Okay," he agrees, smiling softly. After a moment of comfortable silence he speaks up again, "I get it, by the way."

I peer at him quizzically, "Get what?"

"Trauma," he says. "I get why it's so important to you. Why you want to help people in situations like that." He smirks at me before nudging me with his knee, "You're kinda awesome, April Kepner."

My eyes widen in shock slightly before a smile meets my lips as I breathe out, "So are you."

"Do you want to head home?" he probes.

"But what about…"

He waves me off, "Forget about it. I'm sure they won't miss us too much."

"Us?"

"Yeah," he confirms, "Us."

Jackson presses his hands to his knees and pushes himself up off the bench. He extends his forearm outward and smiles down expectantly at me. "Come on," he suggests gently, "Let's go."

I can't help but smile up at him in surprise as I stand up and slip my arm through his. As he leads me toward the door my head falls on his shoulder which is where it rests until we reach the parking lot. My head only rises at the sound of singing in the distance. I stop Jackson by resting a hand on his chest and close my eyes as I listen to what sounds like an alma mater.

I smile and turn to Jackson, smiling as I tell him, "Today really has been a great day."

_A/N: Yes, I suck. Please, don't throw rocks at me. This week has been so busy and all sorts of unplanned things just kind of came my way…that's kind of how life is in the summer for me! But anyway, I really do plan to update this as often as possible so please don't give up on me or this story yet because I sure haven't. I still have lots more Jackson and April moments to come :) Thanks so much for reading and please review!_


	12. Start Me Up

"I am going to kill him." I tell April as we step in line at the coffee cart. She laughs and shakes her head at me, "No, I'm serious. This guy…It's just…He's so…so…" I breathe deeply through my nose as I try but fail to come up with the right words to describe my shadow of a first year med school student. Instead, I just groan loudly, receiving irritated glances from people around us.

"I totally know what you mean," she whispers sarcastically, pursing her lips and raising her eyebrows at me to continue.

"He's just annoying, okay?" I grumble before stepping forward again. "I'm just glad we were able to ditch them in the cafeteria for a few minutes. How's your guy?"

"Eh," April comments. She checks over both her shoulders to ensure he is still downstairs with my own student before speaking again. "He's not bad but…" she bites her lip before confessing, "He keeps trying to do things…doctorly type things! I just don't even know what to do with him."

I don't get a chance to respond as we reach the front of the line and step up to the counter. I order us each a cup of regular coffee, making sure to inform them that I take three creams while April likes two creams, two sugars, and a dash of honey, before sliding my credit card over to the barista.

"You know my drink order?" she asks incredulously.

"I get coffee with you all the time, April." I say. I had been going on coffee runs with her for almost five years now. It was only practical that I memorize her order.

"It's kind of complicated, don't you think?"

"Not really," I shrug. "And, besides, I'm used to it. You're about as complicated as they come, Kepner."

She hits my shoulder with the back of her hand, "Shut up."

I chuckle lowly and thank the cashier as I scoop the Styrofoam cup off the cart. I smirk as I take a sip of from my cup, closing my eyes and sighing in satisfaction as the warm liquid slips down my throat. I remove the plastic lid from my lips and smile widely in April's direction.

This right here, this is why she had always been my coffee break companion of choice. Even back at Mercy West, it had always been me and April drinking coffee and wondering the halls in between cases. Being with April made it easy to forget about all the other crappy things going on at any given moment, at least for a little while. She and I had a way of calming each other down when no one else could. Nobody, including us sometimes, quite understood it but, then again, maybe they didn't have to.

My smile fades and I stop walking as I realize April is frozen in place. I follow the direction in which her narrowed eyes are pointed only to find Karev and his almost unfairly attractive lackey.

April scoffs, "Could she be any…"

"Hotter?"

She turns her gaze away from Karev to glare at me. "Don't be such a pig." she demands through gritted teeth. Refocusing her eyes on the couple she says, "I was going to say something more along the lines of unprofessional, unprincipled, incompetent..."

"Alright, I get it," I cut her off, refraining from rolling my eyes. After another few seconds of watching her glower at Karev, I start to walk again in the hopes that it will draw April away from her rooted position on the lobby floor. She seems to have noticed because I hear her footsteps hastening to catch up with me.

"I bet she drops out within the year," April bites out bitterly as she reaches my side.

I am lifting my cup to my lips but stop midway at the sound of April's cruel words. This wasn't like her. Sure, she could be a little ruthless when it came to competition but she wasn't usually mean for no particular reason. Unless…

I squint at her suspiciously, "What exactly is your problem with her?"

"You mean aside from the thong?"

"Sure."

April stops in the middle of the hallway again and turns to me. She bites her lip and keeps her eyes trained downward as she taps the lid of her cup. She meets my gaze again and it looks like she might say something but quickly decides against it. As she goes to walk away, I reach out and grab her elbow to pull her back.

"Are you still hung up on Karev?" I demand, unable to contain the anger in my voice.

"What?"

"Well you seem very interested in that med school student of his…"

"Because she's annoying!" she interrupts, her voice slightly squeaking.

"Look, I'm just…"

"I'm not interested in Karev again, Jackson,"

"Then what is it?"

She opens her mouth to respond but is quickly cut off by the loud shrill of a pager. April hands me her coffee absentmindedly and looks at the machine attached to her lab coat. "I gotta take this," she admits, reaching out and taking another sip of her coffee before disposing of it in a nearby garbage can.

She goes to walk away, her hands resting in her pockets, when she stops and turns around, a ghost of a smile on her lips as she asks, "What would you have done?"

"About what?" I ask, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"If I had liked Karev again. What would you have done?"

I blink at her rapidly, trying to formulate an answer. Being caught off guard by April Kepner was something I was certainly not used to. I am saved from having to say anything by the buzzing of April's pager once again.

She groans and shoves the device back in to her pocket. "Thanks for the coffee, Jackson. I owe you a drink later!" she calls over her shoulder before running off down the hall.

I nod and turn on my heel sharply, headed in the opposite direction to find my med student. Maybe he could take my mind off of this tightness I feel in my chest at the thought of April giving that douche another chance. She might be complicated but she still deserved someone who would put up with all of her stuff because they know that she is worth it. Someone like…

I shake my head. _No_. "Don't go there," I mumble to myself before stalking off to the cafeteria in the hopes of finding a distraction from thoughts of my best friend.

_A/N: Confession time. This chapter is longer than 1,000 words. Not by much but still, so I know it's technically not a drabble but I'm still gonna count it as one. This was always one of my favorite episodes because of that little J/A scene at the end. That little smirk of his is such a telling sign! At least, I always thought so. I was gonna do a continuation of that scene but I thought that it was perfect enough as it was so I just left it alone and wrote something else entirely. I hope you guys enjoyed it and please review! :)_


	13. Don't Decieve Me (Please Don't Go)

I am scrolling through my phone at the kitchen table, smiling like an idiot at the small screen as I replay the events that took place today in the OR. When this day started I could never have predicted its end. This morning, Doctor Webber was completely against using Twitter during surgery because it was too distracting, which granted it might be, but by the time we had scrubbed out, the only thing he could talk about was how great the evolving world around us is.

"The world is changing," he had declared as we lathered our hands side by side at the metal sink. "It's modernizing or what not. Sp don't fear change, Kepner," he said turning the water off and looking over at me with wide eyes, "Embrace it!"

I am thrown back in to reality at the sound of the front door opening and slamming shut in one brisk motion. I hear muttered cursing and a bag hit the ground with loud thunk. Heavy footsteps start to approach the kitchen and I am relieved to see Jackson, and not Alex, walk through the doorway. Jackson doesn't even seem to notice me as he makes his way to the refrigerator.

"Hey," I offer cautiously. I roll my eyes when all he can manage is a caveman like grunt in response. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah," he snaps sarcastically, his back ramrod straight as he keeps his focus on the contents in the fridge. "Except for the fact that I'm tired, irritable, hungry, and you're nagging on me right now, but besides that I'm great."

I look up from my phone, my eyes widening in surprise at his response. Jackson seems surprised too by his uncharacteristically harsh response. He bows his head and sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'm sorry…Today has been…" he breathes deeply again, closing his eyes. "I'm a jackass and I'm sorry," he admits over his shoulder.

I swallow and shrug, biting the inside of my cheek to hide how affected I am by the outburst. It wasn't often that Jackson raised his voice, but it was even less often that it was directed at me.

I perk up as the doorbell rings and manage to exit the room undetected with Jackson's back still turned towards me as he continues to rummage through the refrigerator. When I return holding a box of pizza, I announce my presence by coughing dramatically.

Jackson turns around unsuspectingly and does a double take when he becomes aware of the overwhelming aroma of cheese and tomato sauce. His jaw drops open and his eyes widen to a cartoonish size as they glaze over. "Have I told you today that you're my best friend?" he mutters.

When he races over, I pull the pizza box away from his grasp and shake my head. "No talking equals no pizza."

"Seriously, April?" he groans. I nod and smile to myself as he throws himself into an empty seat at the kitchen table.

I place the box on the table and pull away my hands hastily, afraid Jackson might accidently eat them in the process as he pounces on the food. He immediately shoves half a slice in his mouth and chews angrily, only beginning to talk when he had swallowed most of the food. "You know that quadruple bypass that I've been practicing for?"

"Well, yeah," I say between small bites, "You've been practicing for weeks."

"I know!" he agrees, throwing his hands up, "Well, Yang stole it from me."

"Well, are you surprised? It's Yang and it was a cardio case." I reply, receiving a glare from Jackson as he digs in to his second slice. I clear my throat and shake my head, "But you already know that so, continue."

"Anyway," he says, pointedly looking at me, "Yang stole the case away while I was on a chase for Hunt."

"Why were you looking for Dr. Hunt?"

Jackson sighs and rubs his hand over his face, "I made this dumbass comment about Yang not logging very much OR time these past few months and…"

"Jackson…" I chasten, frowning in disappointment.

"Look, it was stupid. I know that, okay? I know! I don't need _you_ to remind me of that fact so could you just… not?" he pleads.

I nod and silently usher him to continue on.

"So, I felt bad about the whole thing and I wanted to apologize but I decided to go find Meredith first. You know, calm her down some? But anyway, so we found her and Yang was _crying_," he says this like it is the craziest thing in the world, which I guess it kind of is. "She kept rocking back and forth and asking for Owen so I ran around looking for Hunt for like an hour…until I found out from an intern that Doctor Hunt had left earlier that morning for a dentist appointment," he concludes, his eyes narrowing bitterly.

I wince and he mumbles, "Tell me about it," as he pulls another piece from the cardboard box.

We sit in silence for a little while longer until Jackson finished his third (or was it his fourth?) piece of pizza and finish off my second. Wiping his hands on a napkin, Jackson smiles at me knowingly and says, "Alright, go ahead."

"Go ahead with what?"

"Tell me about your day."

I pick up my phone and waggle it at him, "Why would I when you can just read all about it?"

"Bailey still tweeting her surgeries?" he asks, leaning back in his chair and stretching out his limbs.

"And Webber, believe it or not."

"Webber?" he smirks.

I nod and smile, allowing my eyes to drift to my phone once again. I squint at the screen and then over at Jackson, biting my lip to keep from smiling. "Come here," I insist, waving him over.

Quirking an eyebrow at me in confusion, he does as he is told and rounds my chair, looking over my shoulder at the electronic device on the table. "What are you doing?" he asks as I pick up the phone and press buttons until I find the camera.

"I'm taking a picture." I tell him as I position the phone in front of our faces.

"April, you know I hate cameras and I…"

"Correction: you hate _video_ cameras," I observe, receiving a shrug from Jackson. "So just come on," I persist, "Embrace the modern world with me, Jackson."

He looks down at me and rolls his eyes before bending down further so that we're at a more level height. He smiles widely and throws his arm across my shoulder as I readjust the camera and commence a countdown. After I say the "Three", the camera snaps the picture and I can't help but smile down at it.

"It looks nice," Jackson comments, peering over my shoulder.

"You want to know something?" I question as he goes to leave. When he stalls but doesn't say anything I continue, "You might have had a bad day today, Jackson but I think the good days are finally starting to outweigh the bad around here."

He studies me for a long time before finally nodding and murmuring in reply, "I sure hope you're right, April."

_A/N: Alright, this is another one of those "I went over 1,000 words" type things but I couldn't stop writing and I didn't know what to cut so this is what you guys get. I can't believe this story finally reached 100+ reviews! It's amazing! Shout out to liann for being the hundredth (and an all around awesome and loyal) reviewer! Whoop whoop! I hope you guys enjoyed this latest update and be sure to let me know what you think. Thanks!_


	14. PYT (Pretty Young Thing)

"April!" I call out, walking quickly toward the nurses' station while sporting a grin that stretches from ear to ear. She jumps at the sound and looks around before her eyes land on me as I race towards her. "Guess what I just did," I say, skidding to a halt beside her and tapping my hands against the desk.

She raises an eyebrow at me, "What?"

"You are looking at the lead surgeon of a pro-bono rhinoplasty."

"Seriously?" she asks excitedly, nudging me with her elbow. Her smile falters slightly as she lightly touches the tips of her fingers to her throat and furrows her brow before bowing her hand again.

"Yup," I tell her, grinning "Looks like I might be in the race for chief resident after all."

"That's great, Jackson." I can tell she means it but she keeps her head down as she says it and I just know that something is…off.

I lean forward, attempting to get her to look at me but she keeps her eyes trained forward. "You okay?" I ask.

She looks up at me this time and rakes her teeth over her bottom lip. Just when I decide that she's not going to say anything, she says, so quickly I almost miss it, "Do you think my voice is annoying?"

"What?" I ask bewildered, "No, April. Your voice is fine. Who told you that?"

She breathes deeply and mutters, "Torres."

I scoff quietly, "Don't even worry about her," I tell April seriously. "She's just cranky because she's still pissed about Robbins."

"So you don't think it's too…I don't know…squeaky?" she asks self consciously. April had always been overly critical of herself. It was probably what made her such a perfectionist. I never really understood it myself. Sure, she was a neurotic and little crazy sometimes but if she could just gain some confidence...well, she could be seriously hot.

I shove those thoughts to the back of my mind and turn around so that my back rests against the nurses' station. I shrug, trying to keep my voice nonchalant as I tell her, "I mean…alright, it's a little squeaky sometimes but…"

"So you do think it's annoying?" she cries, panic settling in her eyes.

"No, no, no." I assure her. "What I mean to say is I don't mind the squeakiness. Besides, it's what makes it so easy to read you."

My words seem to have quelled her fears momentarily because I can see her shoulders visibly relax. It is just over her previously tense shoulders that I can just make out Lexie Grey approaching us. She glances up from the chart in her hand and smiles at me before tucking the object beneath her arm.

I stand up straighter and run my hands over my lab coat in an attempt to rid it of any creases. Unsure of what to do with my hands, I shove them in my pockets. I press all of my weight against the desk as I lean against it casually.

"Hey, Jackson," she greets warmly, saddling up next to red head. "April," she acknowledges with a quick nod of her head.

I cough and nod back, "Hey." I groan internally, hating the way my voice shakes. She is just a woman. Albeit, an attractive, smart, sexy, intriguing woman, but a woman none-the-less. And I am Jackson Avery. I can handle this.

April remains silent, her jaw clenched tightly, until Lexie addresses her again. "Hey," she starts, handing her chart to an on-call nurse, smiling at her in appreciation before turning her attention back to April, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I think Torres is looking for you."

April's head snaps up, her eyes wide, "Seriously?"

Lexie nods remorsefully. Clearly, word of Doctor Torres' emotional instability over the last few days had spread.

"Why wouldn't she just page me?" April asks.

Lexie shrugs and pats April's shoulder sympathetically, "Good luck." She slows her pace and turns her head, looking solely at me with a glint in her eye as she says "See you guys at home," before sauntering down the hall in the opposite direction.

I watch her retreating figure with a smirk but my stomach churns with guilt as I remember the joy I had felt during that surgery. Sloan really was not a bad guy.

"Great," April mutters as she closes up her chart and hands it to the nurse on the opposite side of the counter. She thanks her before heading off down the hall, calling over her shoulder, "This should be fun."

I glance between Lexie's diminishing figure and April one last time before jogging to catch up with my best friend. Ignoring her moans of annoyance, I plow forward and ask, "What do you think of Lexie?"

"What about her?"

"Do you think she'd ever…you know…go for me?" I question unsurely. I try to ignore the way April's eyebrows raise in surprise. It was rare but I could be self conscious too.

Slowly, almost reluctantly, she responds, "She's in love with Sloan, Jackson."

"Yeah, but they broke up," I argue a little too quickly.

"She's in love with Sloan," she tells me again, this time more firmly.

"But…"

"Don't," she demands, stopping in the middle of the hallway to fully turn to me. "Don't go there. We've been over this before and determined that it's not going to end well for anyone, especially you, because…"

"She's in love with Sloan," I echo sullenly, scowling slightly at the floor, "Yeah. I got it."

"Jackson," she tries, reaching forward and frowning as I back away.

"It's fine. I'll just…I'll see you at home." I tell her, turning away and ignoring her shouts after me. With my jaw set, I march off down the hall towards the vending machines, April's words rolling around in my head on repeat. As I punch in the appropriate code, I can only hope that maybe those peanut butter cups can make this situation less crappy.

_A/N: I still can't believe the overwhelmingly positive response to this story. I can't thank you guys enough! I know a lot of you aren't too happy about the impending Jackson/Lexie stuff (or the Stark/April stuff) coming up but hopefully this chapter wasn't too bad for you guys. It'll probably be like this for the next few chapters but it'll just be Japril goodness for the most part. Oh! And I completely forgot to make a shout out to Currente Calamo who was such a help with the last chapter! :) As always, thanks for reading and please review!_


	15. Golden Hour

Lexie and I walk along the side of the Grey frat house, our laughter slowly dying out as we reach the door. I shove my hands in my pockets and kick at an imaginary object on the ground as she works at the lock. If we were about seventeen years younger and both of us did not live in the same house, this would be a lot like my first kiss. Valerie Groves, 7th grade.

"That was surprisingly fun!" Lexie comments as she twists her key in the door knob and uses her shoulder to push the door in.

"Ouch." I mutter, unable to hide my smile as I place my hand over my heart.

She grins back at me over her shoulder and shoves me playfully as she steps into the house, "You know what I mean." I trail behind her, making sure to close the door quietly once we are both safely inside.

"Seriously, I had a great time," she tells me when I turn back around to meet her still smiling face. "And, uh, thanks for the foam finger," she offers, pulling the souvenir from under her arm and waving it briefly.

"Don't mention it." I tell her, the corner of my lip quirking upward. I glance at the hardwood floor beneath our feet momentarily before looking up at the brunette again, my eyes slightly more hooded. She seems to sense the shift in the air and takes a tentative step forward, leaving her purse and the orange foam finger discarded on the floor.

I take a deep breath and tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. I leave my hand to linger there and cup her cheek, smiling at the shaky breath she releases through her nose. I gulp as she places both hands on my chest and leaves one still resting over my rapidly beating heart. She breaks eye contact to widen her eyes in silent surprise but when she looks up at me again her eyes crinkle happily. I can feel my own grin broadening as I continue to gaze down at her.

"Hey," April greets cheerfully as she bounds down the steps. Lexie jumps at the sound, something snapping behind her eyes. She quickly pulls away and out of reach, shooting me an apologetic glance over her shoulder. As she maneuvers her way around April at the base of the steps I see her offer a tight lipped smile before taking to the stairs and disappearing from view.

I close my eyes and breathe in deeply. So close. So _freakin'_ close.

"What was that about?" April asks. I snap my eyes open and exhale sharply, glaring at her before stalking off to the kitchen. "Jackson, what was that?" she asks again more determinedly as she follows me to the kitchen. I angrily pull open the door to the refrigerator and grip a water bottle so tightly I am afraid the cap might burst off. As I spin on the sole of my shoe and stalk past her silently, she lets out a huff of annoyance before I hear her feet padding behind me once again.

"Jackson," she groans following closely behind me up the steps. "Will you just talk to me?"

I set my jaw and swallow thickly, remaining silent. It was better for me to remain quiet then to say some not nice things. April just…she had the worst timing, is all. I had spent the majority of tonight seated next to a brilliant and beautiful brunette, having to remind myself again and again to keep my focus on the game and not on her. And every time I would go to make a move April's words from days before would claw their way into my brain and swirl around there until I got so annoyed with it all that I would turn away.

"I'll take that as a no," she mutters as we reach the landing of the second floor and I make my way towards my room. For once, I am happy with the fact that Lexie's room is located above the rest of the house.

"I really didn't mean any…" April tries once again, but is silenced by the opening and closing of my bedroom door in her face.

"Leave it alone, April!" I yell through the thin wood once safely concealed behind a lockable door. I stand near the door for a few more seconds, expecting some kind of reply, but am met with only silence. "Wow," I mutter rubbing a hand over my face as I fall on to the edge of my bed.

It only takes a matter of seconds for the guilt to set in. I sigh deeply and close my eyes, trying to block out the mental image of a broken down April Kepner. It was a sight I had seen many times before and it was something I did not plan on ever causing. My eyes flutter open and I am on my feet, striding to the door with purpose. I think I had read somewhere you were never supposed to go to bed angry.

When I swing the door open, prepared to barge in to April's room if I had to, I am met with the wide eyed red head in question. Shock registers on my face at the sight of her, having not expected to see her being so resilient, but I quickly recover.

"I'm sorry," we say at the same time. I run a hand over the back of my hand uncomfortably and smirk weakly at her as she returns a timid smile. After another few moments of unbearable silence and neither one of us making a move, I simply open my arms. She seems to take the hint and fills the space between my outstretched arms as I pull her into an embrace.

"I just don't want you to get hurt," she mumbles against my chest, absentmindedly playing with a loose string on my sweater. "We've had enough hurt this year."

I nod understandingly against the top of her head and draw away slightly to get a good look at her face. "I'm gonna be fine." I tell her seriously.

"You promise?" she inquires hopefully, resting her head against my chest again.

"Yeah," I declare. "Yeah, I promise."

_A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed last chapter! Reviews are the best way to help me know what you like, what you don't like, what you want to see. Sooooo…*wink wink nudge nudge*. I know this chapter wasn't super April and Jackson based but this episode was the one that was centered on Meredith…I honestly can't even remember what April did this whole episode. For those who didn't like this chapter though, don't worry. Most won't be this way. I have a few coming up that I'm particularly excited about writing. Keep an eye out for 7x18 and 7x20. I think you guys will enjoy those ;) Anyway, for now, thanks for reading and please leave a review._

_P.S. I am going on vacation for the next few days so there might not be an update for a minute depending on the time I have to write but I'll be back with more as soon as possible :)_


	16. Not Responsible

I smile widely as I pad down the stairs, gripping tightly on to the edge of my towel. My grin reaches from ear to ear and I know I look like an idiot but I can't seem to find it in me to care. What guy would be able to stop smiling after something like _that_ with a girl like _her_? I hum quietly to myself as I round the banister and head towards the kitchen.

I stop short as I notice my best friend sitting with her back towards me as she scoops ice cream straight out of the carton and into her mouth. I can't stop the low chuckle that escapes me as I lean the full weight of my body against the door frame.

"So," I call out, pulling her from whatever train of thought her over analytical mind is thinking of. Her shoulders tense slightly before she whips around in her chair with a spoon halfway to her mouth. "You and Stark, huh?"

The deer in the head lights stare she gives me causes my already wide grin to stretch even further. Her mouth falls open in surprise and her eyebrows knit together in bewilderment.

I cross my arms across my bare chest. "I gotta tell you, April. I didn't think you were that kind of a girl." I tease, keeping my voice light.

I can see the cogs working behind her eyes as she squints at me and tries to piece everything together. "How did you…? Did Lexie…?" she stops midsentence as her eyes land on the white, fluffy towel wrapped around my hips. I eye her knowingly, having to bite the inside of my cheeks to keep the smug smirk off my face. I turn in the doorway and slowly make my way back towards the stairs when I suddenly hear April shriek, "Oh my _god_!" as the realization finally hits her. I laugh the whole way up the stairs.

A few hours later, I am startled awake from my sleep by the sound of light knocking on my bedroom door. Ever since I had started seeing someone, a shrink to be more exact, on a semi-regular basis the nightmares had seemed to subside for the most part. In return, I slept so lightly some times that a violent sneeze from two rooms away had the power to wake me up. I guess tonight is just one of those nights.

I groan and go to turn on my bedside lamp when I remember that there is a warm body next me. I smirk down happily at the brunette currently pressed against my side before I quickly untangle myself from the bed sheets without disturbing Lexie. When I do not hear a lull to her soft snores, I slip on my pair of discarded boxers and sneak away silently. I open my door slightly, flooding the room with light from the hallway.

"April?" I ask curiously, glancing over my shoulder before stepping out into the hallway and closing the door behind me. "What are you doing here? What's wrong?"

"What did you mean earlier? When you said you didn't think I was that kind of girl."

I am trying to recall when exactly I had said that as I try to rub the sleep from eyes. It finally dawns on me and my eyes open in realization. I can see the worry lines that crease April's forehead and frown, "April, I didn't mean anything by it."

"So you don't think that it's going to look like I'm trying to sleep with my superior to get ahead in my job, right?" she asks, chewing on her bottom lip nervously.

"What?" I question, shaking my head in confusion. "April, no. Nobody is going to think that."

She doesn't seem to hear what I have said as she begins to pace in front of me, "Because it's only one date, you know? It's not even a date. It's just a dinner, a friendly dinner. Friends do that, right?"

I open my mouth to respond but instead just nod when April stops and continues to ramble on in front of me. "It's just that now I'm all freaked out that people are going to think I'm not a good surgeon now because and…"

"No one is going to think that." I cut her off sternly. That was one thing I knew with certainty. Many things can be said about April Kepner but being a bad surgeon was not one of them.

"Really?"

"No." I assure her, trying to hold back my smile at the absurdity of it all. Of all the people in this world April Kepner did not need to be worrying about people thinking that she is a slut. She really shouldn't be worried about what other people think at all but I don't tell her that.

"Look at Yang and Grey." I say, nudging my head in the direction of Meredith's bedroom. "Those two are both _married_ to attendings and no one thinks anything less of them or their surgical ability, right?" I wait until April nods in agreement before pressing forward. "So, relax. It's _one_ date. It's harmless. People are not going to think less of you, April. I promise."

She is silent for a moment as she processes this information before eventually nodding, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah," she declares.

Placing my hand on the doorknob I ask, "Now can I please go back to bed?"

Her cheeks flush in embarrassment as though she has just realized what time of night it is. "Oh-h…Uh, right-t." April stutters, slowly backing away towards her bedroom door. "Goodnight, Jackson."

I smile at her to show her that it is okay and whisper a "Goodnight" over my shoulder before shutting the door softly behind me.

When I climb back in to bed and throw my charcoal gray sheets over my body Lexie's arm falls across my waist and I can't suppress the grin that forms.

"Everything okay?" she asks sleepily, keeping her eyes closed as she snuggles up closer to my own warm body.

"Yeah," I promise her, placing a feathery kiss on her forehead. "Everything is perfect."

A/N: Wow. Wow, wow, wowww! Last chapter's response was amazing! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and for all you new readers out there, I'm glad you are here to join the ride! All those emails I received over these past few days just made my vacation twenty times better! :) Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this latest update and for all you Americans out there: Happy 4th of July! And happy belated Canada Day!


	17. This Is How We Do It

The smile I have plastered across my face as I wave goodbye to Robert is forced at best. It feels brittle, like it might break at any minute. He doesn't seem to notice, however, because he waves back cheekily.

When he disappears from view I turn back to the nurses' station and allow my face to fall. I am so lost in thought that it takes me a moment to notice Jackson slide up beside me. When I feel a looming presence standing over me and glance up suspiciously to find my best friend grinning widely.

"Okay," I groan, resting my elbows on the counter and rubbing at my temples, "You are way too happy to be around right now."

Jackson sighs contently seeming more than okay with his sunny mood. "That's just what happens when you're having ungodly amounts of sex, April."

"Alright. Gross." I shudder, pursing my lips in annoyance at the thought of finding Jackson and Lexie in…compromising positions all over the house the past week.

Jackson rolls his eyes but his smile never falters. "How was the rest of the baby shower?" he asks casually.

"It was nice," I say, shrugging before adding, "For the most part."

It really had been lovely. Callie had looked so happy and she'd even hugged me at one point which was pretty surprising. Everything had been going fine until Alex had started making comments. Admittedly, I always expected an unappreciated and inappropriate comment from Alex, especially when it concerned my friendship with Dr. Stark. It was the comments from the others that had really gotten to me. Their words seemed to bounce around my brain like a pinball machine and I couldn't get them to stop.

"Can I ask you something?" I blurt out suddenly. It surprises Jackson so much that his post-sex haze seems to disappear momentarily as he snaps back to reality. "What's up?" he asks, standing up a little straighter.

I wince and chew my bottom lip. As I continue to stare at him, the words never seem to formulate the way I want them to and I decide that I should just forget it. "Never mind," I tell him quickly, spinning away on the sole of my pink tennis shoes. I am just about to make a break for the residents lounge when I feel his hand enclose around my thin wrist and pull me backwards.

"April, talk to me." Jackson instructs gently.

Truth be told, I don't want to talk about it. This whole situation is kind of embarrassing because being a thirty year old virgin _is_ kind of embarrassing. Well, sometimes, at least. This just one of those occasions, I guess. So, no, I don't want to talk about how inexperienced and awkward I am when it comes to the opposite sex with someone who looks like they walked out of a Calvin Klein ad.

All I really want to do is run off and maybe make a pit stop in the neonatal wing to gaze at all the new born babies to get my mind of things for a while. But this was _Jackson _were talking about here. The man practically knew me better then I knew myself and he had been around so infrequently lately. It might be nice to open up.

I meet his stare and sigh before reluctantly giving in. "What do guys expect when they invite you over to watch a movie?" I inquire casually, shifting my gaze down to the tops of my sneakers. I chance a second glance upwards at him and see Jackson blinking at me in confusion, silently begging me to continue.

"Dr. Stark…um, I mean, Robert." I fumble. "Robert invited me over to his place to watch a movie tonight and I'm afraid…"

"You're afraid he's interested in more than just watching a movie?" he fills in knowingly, licking his lips.

I nod mutely and hide miserably behind my hands. "Just tell me that I'm wrong. Say that he really _does_ just want to watch a movie." I mumble, peaking at him through the slits between my fingers.

I am met with only silence and when I lift my face from my hands to fully gage his reaction I find him smirking smugly. "I can't do that."

"No, no, no. I was afraid you'd say that." I groan, disappointed but not surprised. I breathe out sharply through my nose, "Is there any chance you're wrong?"

He briefly looks down at his vibrating pager and smirks. When he looks up again, he shakes his head skeptically and pushes himself off the desk. "He's a man, April. And watching a movie is the oldest play in the book."

"Okay, where is this book everyone is always talking about…" I mumble as I trail slightly behind him, resting my hands comfortably in my lab coat pockets.

He chuckles as he glances at me out of the corner of his eye and continues, "Guys never really want to watch the movie." He considers his words before adding, "Well, sometimes. When there are explosions. Are there explosions?"

"I don't think so…"

"What are you watching?"

Unenthusiastically I mumble, "_From Here to Eternity_."

He bears his teeth as he laughs, "Okay. Now I _know_ I'm right."

"But we're just supposed to be friends!" I protest, my voice squeaking as I throw my hands up in exasperation.

"Is that why he took you to dinner three times this week?"

"He was being nice."

"He likes you, April." Jackson confirms over his shoulder. "He'd be crazy not to."

I sigh and shake my head, "Yeah, but I don't…I don't think I feel that…" my words stop in my throat, startled as I run in to Jackson's back when he stops unceremoniously in the middle of the hallway. I follow his gaze with my own eyes to find Lexie standing further down the hallway outside of an on call room, coaxing him with her finger.

Jackson's eyes sparkle as he watches the brunette. Realizing I am still standing there he turns to me and coughs, trying his best to cover it up. "Look, can we…um, can we finish this later?" he starts, his attention already veering back over to the on call room door. "I have to, uh…do a-a consult."

As Jackson scurries down the hallway without an answer, I glare at his retreating figure and hold back a scoff. "Sure." I reply sarcastically to the empty space where Jackson once stood. "I'll just figure this one out on my own." I chance one last look over my shoulder at the couple as they slip in to the room and roll my eyes before stomping off in the opposite direction.

_A/N: As always, thanks so much for all of your support. I'm glad everyone is still enjoying these little drabbles :) I am almost done with season 7 (which is totally crazy I might add! I feel like I just started this story yesterday) and I will be doing season 8 drabbles for those of you wondering. I'll also probably do season 9 as well as long as the response is still good which it has been so far! For all of you who wanted to see jealous April/jealous Jackson, you might have to wait a bit longer for that or just read between the lines. Since these are all canon I have to make them as realistic as possible and April seemed annoyed by Jackson/Lexie in this episode by not all that jealous. Speaking of annoyed, April and Jackson seemed very frustrated with each other in the small scene they share in the next episode as well which is why I left it like this. But don't worry! Next chapter will be on the cuter side, I promise. Woah…crazy long author's note. Sorry! Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed!_

_P.S. Shout out to Hidge for not only giving me the idea for this chapter but for also being super consistent with her support! Thanks so much and I hope I did your idea justice :)_


	18. Song Beneath the Song

I am so lost in thought that I don't hear the knock on the door at first. I have been staring at the tiles on the ceiling for so long now that they have started blurring together at this point. It isn't until the beam of light from the hallway streams in to the dark room and breaks up the tiles once again that I turn my head to see who it is. I blink a few times, trying to make out the silhouette standing in the doorway.

"Oh, sorry," the familiar voice mutters, reaching for the door handle again. "I thought this room was empty."

"Jackson?" I call out, sitting up and resting all of my weight on my forearms. He stops short of closing the door and peaks his head back in the room. "April?" he asks uncertainly.

I nod, hoping he can see the gesture. He seems to be able to because he steps back inside the room and closes the door behind him. He makes long strides across the room and pauses beside my bed, resting his hands in the pockets of his scrub pants. "Move over," He demands, his confident voice not matching his uncomfortable demeanor. Still, I listen and shift my body until I am pressed against the wall of the on call room.

He shuffles his body against mine as he slides in the bed beside me. His hunched shoulders seem to relax as his eyelids fall shut and he lets out a deep, heavy breath. He is silent for so long that I think he might have already fallen asleep when I suddenly hear him ask, "How's Callie?"

"She's stable…" I tell him, feeling my stomach churn as I feel the need to add, "For now."

He sighs again and nods understandingly.

How was it that just yesterday we had been attending her baby shower and now she and her unborn daughter were in the ICU? As a doctor I knew that even if Callie made it through all the upcoming surgeries she was facing, there was still the possibility of neurological complications. She had a long road ahead of her but if today was any indication, there would be dozens of people by her side the whole way through.

And the baby…well, she had a long road ahead of her too.

"How is Sloan doing?" I ask as thoughts of the unborn little girl plague my mind. The minute the words leave my lips I regret them because I feel Jackson physically tense at the mention of the plastics head. He rubs roughly at his closed eyes before snapping them open. "I'm not sure," he states bitterly. "You should ask my girlfriend, though. She might know."

I raise my eyebrows at him slightly at the mention of Lexie. I had almost forgotten the history that ran between the third year resident and the attending. "You guys haven't been able to keep your hands off each other all week."

"Yeah," Jackson shrugs, glancing over at me before returning his gaze to the ceiling. "But that was yesterday."

"Yeah," I agree, "Yesterday." A lot of things had changed in the last twenty four hours it seems.

"I feel like such an ass for caring about this, you know? I mean, here is this guy whose best friend and baby are possibly dying right now and all I can think about is whether or not he's gonna make the moves on my…"

"I broke up with Robert," I divulge, feeling guilty for interrupting his rant but no longer being able to hold back my own. The words had been hanging on the tip of my tongue since last night and it felt good to finally have that weight off my chest. In the mess of all this tragedy I haven't had much time to think about it but in the dull quiet of the on call room it was all I _could_ think about. It was selfish, I know, to be concerned about my own problems when my colleague and sort of friend was fighting for her life just rooms away but it didn't stop my thoughts of the older peds attending. "Um, I mean Doctor Stark..." I continue. "I don't even know if break up is the right term since we were never really together but...yeah."

It is silent as Jackson processes this information before he asks, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just did." I point out, shrugging my shoulders as I add, "Besides, you were busy."

"Do you want to…uh, talk about it?" Jackson offers hesitantly. He had never been too comfortable with the idea of my dating Dr. Stark and he clearly had no interest in talking about it. Luckily for him, neither did I.

"Not really," I tell him shaking my head back and forth.

Even in the dark I can see his entire face flood with relief as he nods. "He wasn't the guy for you, April."

Jackson had said things like that in the past, like _he isn't right for you_ or _he didn't deserve you_ but he had never explained further. He never told me what kind of guy _did_ deserve me or who _is_ right for me. One of these days he was going to have to be a little more specific because as far as I could tell I didn't have too many guys lining up for my attention.

I roll my eyes but remain silent as Jackson pushes on, "You need to be with someone who…I don't know, understands you, I guess. And he…it just…it was never gonna work out."

I nod mutely but keep my teeth clenched tightly. Jackson turns his head towards mine and I can feel his breath tickle the side of my neck. "I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately."

"It's okay." I offer quietly.

"It's just..."

"You have a girlfriend now, I get it, Jackson. I'm not the most important woman in your life anymore." I joke, nudging him playfully. Suddenly, the sensation on my neck disappears and I realize he has stopped breathing momentarily. I turn my head and immediately find his unusually dark blue eyes boring in to mine. His Adam's apple dips in his throat as he swallows thickly and he blinks at me a few times before shifting his gaze upwards.

"When Callie came in to the ER today…" he pauses and gulps for air before continuing, "It brought back a lot of memories of…that day." He glances at me, hoping that I understood the underlying message. I do.

"…And all I could think about was…was what if it was _you_ on that gurney." Jackson reveals tentatively.

"Jackson…" I start but stop as he holds up a hand and shakes his head.

"You're my best friend, April. You know that." He speaks seriously. "And if it had been you in that position I'd be going out of my mind right now…I'd probably feel a lot like…well, a lot like…"

"Mark?"

"Just like Mark."

We're silent for a long time after that and it isn't until I hear the squeak of the mattress springs shifting underneath his weight that I speak again. "Where are you going?" I ask, rocketing up from my flat position.

"I was…I was gonna go find another on call room." Jackson explains, pointing to the door with his extended thumb. He pauses before asking, "Unless…you want me to stay?"

I don't respond but instead just lie down on the bed again and scoot as close to the wall as possible. He smiles weakly and lies down beside me once again. He reaches to the edge of the bed and grabs a blanket before sprawling it over the both of us.

I bite my lip before hesitantly snuggling a bit closer to him and he easily drapes a protective arm over my waist. In the back of mind I know he has a girlfriend now and that if someone were to find us like this it may raise some suspicion but I can't seem to find it within me to care.

"Are you sure about this?" Jackson inquires as though he can practically hear my thoughts.

I catch a glimpse of his worried face and nod confidently. "Yeah, I'm sure."

_A/N: Okay, so this is way over 1,000 words but I'm starting to care less and less about the length soooo oh well! :p Anyway, I was really excited to write this chapter and I really hope you guys enjoyed it! I don't know if it's too unrealistic but I think the car crash tragedy might have sparked a conversation like this since it was so soon after the shooting that they're still reeling from. Your reviews make my day so keep em' coming! And, as always, thanks for reading!_


	19. It's a Long Way Back

I would never have been good in peds. Don't get me wrong, I like kids. I really do. But working with sick and dying kids had never been my thing. It was just a little too much for me most days. I would never admit it to anyone, _especially_ Karev, but I am not hardcore enough for peds.

April, on the other hand, she would have been good in peds. Great, even. I had always thought so. Now more than ever as I watch her through the glass window of the NICU, effortlessly gliding from crib to crib. She coos inaudibly and offers each child a bright grin as she adjusts ventilators and IVs. I cross my arms in admiration and a proud smile meets my lips.

When I realize I have probably been staring a bit too long I clear my throat uncomfortably and gather myself together before reaching forward and knocking on the thick glass that separates us. April looks up and offers a surprised smile. She raises her hand in a wave and gestures for me to come inside.

I silently agree and take the few extra steps towards the room. "Hey," I greet as the automatic door slides shut behind me. I slip on a pink, plastic gown and tie the knot behind my back out of habit. "Hi," she welcomes warmly, talking in the voice she reserves only for children as she keeps her eyes on the case in front of her.

I chuckle as I pull on my latex gloves and cross the room to join her. A comfortable silence falls over us as we gaze down at the premature infant swaddled in blue cloth.

Breaking up the steady rhythm of the ventilator, I hear April ask, "Do you want kids?"

We had never really talked about it, I guess. As doctors we were more focused on what was directly in front of us rather than what is to come.

"I think so." I tell her but then declare more firmly, "Yeah. With the right person I would, sure."

"Do you think Lexie is that person?"

I shrug and remain silent as we make our over to the next crib. Honestly, I wasn't even sure Lexie wanted kids. We had never really talked about it. And after seeing her reaction to Callie being pregnant with Mark's kid, I didn't plan on asking anytime soon. Besides, our thing was still pretty new and baby talk would just complicate things further.

"Aren't you going to ask me?" April demands after an extended period of silence.

I bite back a laugh at her bemused expression as I shake my head. "Well, why not?" she pouts.

"Because I already know the answer, April." I explain. "You're the kind of girl who wants the big house with a white picket fence and a dozen babies running around your big backyard." I can't help but smile wider at the thought of an older April sitting in a rocking chair on the back porch of her house while cuddling a new born baby to her chest.

"I don't want a _dozen_…" she argues in a small voice. "Just half a dozen," she admits shyly, keeping her eyes trained on the little girl in the incubator as she fights to keep a smile off her face. After a few moments she hastily adds, "With the right person, of course."

"Yeah," I say, "Give my condolences to whoever that poor guy is."

My laughter bounces off the walls of the enclosed room when her jaw drops open in surprise. She recovers quickly and, instead, whacks me with the back of her hand.

"Kidding." I tell her, rubbing at the now sore spot on my chest. "But, seriously, six kids? That is a bit much, Apes. Especially for a surgeon. Don't you think?"

"I guess," she shrugs as we move on to the next incubator. "I'd be willing to talk about it when the time comes."

I glance at the name tag on the front of the cart as we approach it and I ask, "Is this Sofia?"

"Yup," April nods. "All one pound one ounce of her."After a few quiet moments of affectionate gazing April turns to me and asks, "How's Callie?"

I am suddenly reminded of why I had come in the first place at the mention of Dr. Torres and turn to my best friend purposefully. "That's actually what I came in here to talk to you about."

April turns away from the little girl and raises her eyebrows at me curiously. I sigh heavily before launching into my explanation of Cristina's plan to allow Callie to see Sofia. The red head nods at all the appropriate times throughout but her expression is unreadable. It makes me kind of nervous that she might say no. April had never been one for trouble and this plan certainly had risky written all over it. But this was for Callie, after all. She was one of our own. April just had to say yes. She had to.

"So, are you in?" I question hopefully, bumping her with my hip.

April glances down at the sleeping daughter of the orthopedic attending and I can just make out a slow smile spreading across her face before she glances up at me with tears in her eyes. "Of course," she agrees, blinking the tears away.

"Good." I reply, grinning as she bumps my hip in return. "Then let's go."

"Now?" she asks, her voice wavering as I grab her hand and pull her toward the automatic door. I nod as we begin to quickly dispose of our gowns and gloves before exiting.

Just as we go to leave I hear April cry out a panicked, "Wait!" before whipping her phone out of her pocket and racing back over to the incubator. I lean against the wall and smirk as I watch her snap pictures of Sofia. She really was going to be an amazing mom one day.

"Alright, now we can go." She concedes, offering the infant one last goofy grin and racing back toward the exit. This time it is her who reaches for my hand before dragging me down the hallway with that signature glint of determination in her eyes.

_A/N: I really didn't know where to end this so this is what you got :p I hope it wasn't too bad for you guys. I really liked the idea of this scene because I don't think either one of them has ever discussed what kind of future they wanted except a little bit in 9x07. Anyways, I hope you guys liked it! I'm really excited to write the next chapter so look out for that soon! :) Thanks for reading and please review! :D_


	20. White Wedding

"You having fun?"

The sound of Jackson's voice pulls me from my train of thought and I turn my head to follow his moving figure until he falls into the seat beside me.

"Huh?" I ask, focusing my gaze back on the camera in my hands. Over the course of the night I had become the unofficial photographer for the evening. Well, more so deemed myself as the wedding photographer. Since I had come to the wedding without a date, taking pictures gave me something to do other than trailing awkwardly behind my coupled up friends.

"I asked," he chuckles, "If you were having fun."

"Oh," I reply, turning off the camera and placing it down on the round table. "Yeah! It's great!" I squeak out a little too excitedly.

Jackson quirks his eyebrow at me disbelievingly but remains silent as he lifts his champagne flute to his lips and drinks. After he downs the rest of the glass I finally hear him say, "What's on your mind, April?"

I close my eyes and breathe in deeply through my nose. Ever since we had become each other's rocks, it was nearly impossible to keep things from Jackson. All he had to do was look at me and he would know when something was up. It was both annoying and inconvenient at times like this, when all I want to do is wallow in self-pity.

I snap my eyes to find his blue ones peering at me curiously. I release a long sigh before eventually saying, "I keep thinking about Robert."

He scoff is low and angry. "Stark?" I nod glumly and avoid eye contact by keeping my gaze fixated on the dance floor. "Why are you still hung up on that douche? I told you, April, he isn't…"

"I know." I snap harshly, shutting him up. I slump my shoulders and lower my voice as I tell him, "I'm not really thinking about _him_ so much as…I just…I just wish someone was here with me, alright?"

Confessing this kind of stuff to Jackson always felt so…well…_ embarrassing_. It was no secret that Jackson was a good looking man and, even if he didn't have a girlfriend, I was certain that there would be dozens of groupie interns who would be more than happy to attend a wedding with him. So complaining to someone like _that_ about something he clearly had zero understanding of made me feel uncomfortable, to say the least.

"Going stag can be fun," he protests, glancing over his shoulder and flagging down a waiter holding a tray of champagne. "Wait…is it called "going stag" for a girl? Or is it just, like, "going solo" or something?" he thinks out loud before taking a sip of his fresh glass of bubbly.

"I don't know." I mumble, graciously accepting the alcoholic beverage as he hands it to me. "Does it matter?"

Jackson shrugs. "Besides," I continue. "Going "stag" is only fun when you have other single people to hang out with but here…" My voice trails off as I skim my eyes across the dance floor of well dressed couples. Owen and Cristina, Teddy and that trauma counselor guy, Bailey and Eli, Callie and Arizona. They all looked so at ease in each other's arms and I can't help but long for my own dance partner.

"I'm here with a bunch of couples and it just…it feels like I'm in high school all again or something," I laugh shyly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"I loved high school." Jackson grins proudly, leaning back in his chair and getting this far off look in his eye.

I roll my eyes but am unable to keep the smile off my face as I mutter, "Of course you did."

The look in his eye vanishes, the smirk on his face indicating that his attention had clearly been overtaken by something else. He juts his chin in the opposite direction and I turn around in my chair to find Lexie Grey being pulled out on to the dance floor by Arizona's much younger cousin. Lexie's laughter carries across the room as she is tugged forward by the eager nine year old.

"At least she has someone to dance with," I murmur light-heartedly. I say it so quietly that I'm not even sure if Jackson heard me but when I turn around he has this look of concentration on his face as he squints at me seriously and licks his lips. He drops his stare and clears his throat as he places his half empty glass on the table. He rubs his hands on his ironed pant legs before pushing himself out of his chair.

"Come on," he suggests, holding out his arm.

"I don't want your pity, okay? I was just venting." I bristle, turning my head away from him as I say, "Go off and dance with your date. I'm fine here."

He shoves his hands in to his suit jacket pockets as he stares down at me, a smirk playing the corners of his lips. "Well, first of all, I don't know if you noticed but my date is a little busy at the moment." He peeks over my shoulder at the brunette once again and grins widely before refocusing his attention back on me. His face becomes more serious as he presses forward. "And, secondly, even if she wasn't I would still be standing here."

I shoot him a side long glance as he bends down, squatting down in front of me so we are at a more level height. "I don't pity you. Believe it or not, being with you isn't a sacrifice for me, April. I _want_ to dance with you." Jackson insists, trying to catch my eye. When he sees that he has broken through my walls, he smiles and pushes himself into a standing position, once again offering his arm. "Now, let's go."

"You really make it hard for a girl to say no, you know that?" I tell him playfully as I loop my arm through his. He chuckles as our feet meet the dance floor.

As the previous song fades out, a new slow song begins. My arms instinctually wrap around his neck as he rests his hands on my waist but I make sure to keep some distance between us. Jackson smirks before closing the gap by tugging me against his chest. "This isn't a school dance," he jokes and my face burns in humiliation as I nod and laugh nervously.

"Do you think we would have been friends?" he asks quietly, his voice cutting through our comfortable silence and the second verse of the song.

"What?"

"In high school," he explains. "Do you think we would have, you know, been friends if we had met back then?"

I think about his question for a long time, my thoughts getting lost in the sound of the piano. Reluctantly, I bite my lip and shake my head.

"Why not?"

"Jackson," I breathe out shakily, "I was a science nerd. My idea of a social life was hanging out after school with the quiz bowl team once a week." As I reveal this information I manage to keep a smile on my face, refusing to let him know that it still bothered me. High school had really done a number on my self-esteem.

"And boys wise…" I continue, swallowing back the lump in my throat, "Let's just say I wasn't exactly the kind of girl anyone noticed, alright?"

I can feel his eyes on me in the silence that follows but I refuse to look away from the silkiness of his tie until I feel two fingers lightly lifting my chin up against my will. My eyes are forced to meet Jackson's and I can't help but notice the hurt the lies just beneath the surface. In a low yet honest voice he tells me, "I would have noticed you."

Maybe it's the gentleness in his voice or the way he never blinks as he says it but, at that moment, I believe him.

Being at a loss for words was something I am certainly not used to but as I gape up at Jackson's stoic face no words come to mind, no words that make sense, at least. So, instead of words, I simply place my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. In turn he tightens his hold on my waist and my whole body feels him let out a sigh of contentment. We stay like that until long after the song has ended.

_A/N: I love you guys. Have I mentioned that lately? Because I do! I still can't believe how great the response to this story has been. It's so humbling! But, anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this! I've had the idea of them dancing at the Calzona wedding in my head for a while now so I was super stoked to finally try my hand at writing it. I'm really trying to keep it as canon as possible so please tell me if you feel they are being overly romantic or out of character here because that's always my biggest fear when posting things like this. Only two more episodes/moments left until I'm officially done with season 7! Whooo! I can't believe it! Thanks for the continued support as well as for reading and please review!_


	21. I Will Survive

I am not expecting to see April in the kitchen but when I spot her leaning against the island a voice inside my head tells me that I have to talk to her. That's usually how a lot of things go concerning my secrets and April. Whenever she has a problem she always seems to actively seek me out…which is totally fine, I might add. I like hearing her talk. I even enjoy hearing her babbling. It's endearing.

When I have a problem, on the other hand, I usually just choose to ignore it. That is until I run in to April at which point I suddenly cannot stand the idea of holding in my thoughts any longer.

She smiles brightly as she spots me standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "Good morning," she greets. "Coffee?"

I glance over my shoulder before stepping fully into the kitchen, meeting her at the island. "Actually," I begin, "I was wondering if I could take it to go?"

She eyes me suspiciously and asks, "Aren't you waiting for Lexie?" I cough and rub at the back of my neck uncomfortably. Lowering my voice, I admit, "I really need to talk to you. Please."

April's mouth falls open in surprise but with a click of her teeth, she snaps her jaw shut and nods incessantly.

She spins around on the sole of her shoe and opens the cupboard above her. She quickly finds what she is looking for and takes out my own to-go mug and lid. She places them on the counter before rounding the counter and telling me, "Just…meet me in the car. W-whenever you're ready," she insists. I shot her a closed lip smile before she makes her way out of the kitchen, coffee cup in hand.

"Morning," I hear April chirp to Karev as they pass each other in the foyer. Alex simply grunts in reply but manages to raise his hand in a wave.

"Long night?" I smirk as I finish pouring the still hot coffee in to the metal to-go cup.

Alex runs his hand over his face as he slumps against the counter. "More like a long month," he admits. "These African kids are a lot of freakin' work, dude."

I nod as I reach past him to get in to the fridge and grab the coffee cream. Smiling smugly, Alex continues, "But it'll all be worth it once I get chief resident."

"Sure, Karev," I mutter, refraining from rolling my eyes as I put the finishing touches on my coffee. In all honesty, I just want this conversation to be over. Knowing that I was about to single handedly kill any chance I have of becoming chief resident makes my stomach twist in pain. Continuing to talk about it, with Karev of all people, was only making it worse. The only person I wanted to talk to about this was already outside in the car, waiting for me to do just that.

I quickly spin the lid on the top of my cup until it is tightly secured. "Hey, can you let Lexie know that I'm catchin' a ride with Kepner this morning?"

"You trying to get a leg up on the competition, Avery?"

"Um…something like that."

I scoop my satchel bag off the floor and sling it over my shoulder. "Thanks, man." I call out as I exit the kitchen and proceed to the door.

When I step outside I can see April tapping her hands on the leather steering wheel and dancing from side to side with whatever is on the radio. I smile at the ground, shaking my head as I make my way over to the SUV. April had always been a morning person. She said it was the farm girl in her.

"You ready to go?" she asks cheerfully, turning down the music as I slide into the passenger's seat. She takes the click of my seat belt as a reply and begins to pull out of the driveway. I had always liked driving with April. She exuded this confidence in the driver's seat that she couldn't seem to do in everyday life.

I am quiet for a long time, allowing the sounds of the radio to wash over me. April sits beside me silently but I can see her from the corner of my eye. The way that she rakes her teeth over her bottom lip every few seconds tells me that she is dying to ask what is wrong but is fighting herself to hold back, allowing me to reveal things at my own speed.

When we pull up to a red light, April reaches forward and fiddles with the radio, her hair cascading over her face like a red velvet curtain. Deciding that my best friend has been patient enough, I tentatively reveal, "I'm dropping out of Webber's trial."

I am glad for the curtain of hair between us that makes it impossible for April to see the way I snap my eyes closed and clench my fists at my sides. I breathe in deeply and release a labored sigh before chancing another peek at April. She has pushed her hair from her face and is staring at me wide eyed.

The sound of horn blaring makes us both jump and we realize that the light has turned green. April quickly steps on the gas which sends us both flying back in our seats. "But…why?!" she shrieks, the ability to form words seeming to have finally returned. "You've been working so hard on it!"

She was right, I have been.

"My whole life I've been accused of using my looks or my last name to get ahead." April reels back slightly and squints her eyes in confusion, clearly unsure where I am going with this, but remains quiet anyway. "And sometimes…it's true." I admit, resulting in a small smile from my best friend as she clicks on her turn signal.

"But this trial…I have _worked_ for this. I have lived and breathed this trial these past few months." I turn my head away from her to watch out of the passenger side window as I say, "But so has Webber."

April watches me closely before turning her attention back to the road and asking, "And?"

"And… he deserves all the recognition that this trial is worthy of and as long as my name isn't on it, he will."

April blinks rapidly, "Yeah, but how would your name ruin…" Her voice trails off as realization crosses over her features. "You think it could win a Harper Avery." It's not a question but rather a statement.

"I really do." I tell her honestly as we pull into the Seattle Grace employee lot. She nods but remains quiet as she allows my words to fully sink in. She pulls in to a comfortable parking space and turns off the ignition. Her hands fall from the steering wheel into her lap as she shifts in her seat and angels herself towards me before asking, "Are you sure about this, Jackson?"

I open my mouth to reply but she quickly jumps in to cut me off and continues, "I'm sure Dr. Webber would understand. And I'm sure if the trial is as good as you say it is then the Harper Avery committee would still…"

"I've thought about it enough, April." I unintentionally snap. I breathe deeply through my nose and reach forward, placing my hand over hers. Gently, I confirm, "I'm sure."

"Then okay."

Despite myself, I smile back and squeeze her hand affectionately. This is exactly why I had wanted…no, _needed_ to talk to her. I just knew that April would understand and would stand by my side in this no matter what happened. And, going in to a day like today, it was always nice to know that I could count on having her in my corner when it is all over. Having her there for me was all I ever really needed.

_A/N: I hate this chapter. Like, seriously loathe. I had such problems with it and it took me so much longer to write this one than almost all the other chapters. Plus it's not even that good. So, I am really sorry for this not too great update but I hope you guys didn't hate it so much that you won't at least leave me a review ;) Because, seriously, they make my day. You guys were so great last chapter so thank you for that! I'm so happy you enjoyed it. Anyway, thanks for reading! Next up, the season finale!_

_P.S. So, as I've stated I am continuing with this into season 8 (and possibly season 9) but do you think I should make the new seasons sequels or keep them all here under the title "You Don't Have To Be Alone". Let me know your thoughts!_


	22. Unaccompanied Minor

It has been a very long day. I have been searching for April for about fifteen minutes at this point, which seems to be making this already long day feel even lengthier. I've searched all the usual places: the OR galleries, the cafeteria, the tunnels. I had checked them all and, still, she was nowhere to be found.

"Have you seen Kepner?" I ask, announcing my presence as I saunter in to the residents lounge. I keep my eyes peeled for the red head but only find a surly looking Karev hunched in front of his cubby. He scowls at me before shaking his head.

Hesitantly, I offer, "I'm taking April out to…uh, celebrate over at Joe's. You should come meet us over there." I know Karev and April are not super close or anything but I feel bad for him. The guy looks pretty messed up.

"No," he scoffs bitterly, grabbing his bag and adjusting it over his shoulder.

I jump up from the seat on the bench and stand in the space between him and the doorway. With an eye roll, he tries to side step me but I deny his every move. "You could at least try and be happy for her, man."

"Go to hell," Alex sneers before shoving past me and disappearing from sight.

I breathe in deeply before puffing out my cheeks and letting out a noisy sigh. Dude was really taking this whole chief resident thing pretty hard.

"Hey," Lexie greets as she steps through the previously occupied doorway. I flip around, surprised to hear her voice, and a warm smile reaches my lips at the sight of her. "Hey you," I mutter, placing my two hands around her waist and tugging her forward until our lips meet. She pulls away and keeps her eyes closed, a dreamy smile spreading across her face.

When her eyes flutter open again I can't help but ask, "You don't happen to know where April is, do you?" She purses her lips to the side as she thinks it through when, suddenly, her eyes light up. "She mentioned something about _"taking a walk down memory lane"_?"

"I don't really know what that means," she continues, "But, then again, I don't know what that girl is talking 90% of the time anyway. She's so…" I look down at my girlfriend pointedly and she frowns, shamefully. It was no secret that April and Lexie were not best friends but when Lexie and I had started dating I had told both her and April that for the sake of our respective relationships that it would be nice for them to keep their comments about one another to themselves.

I kiss her again to show her that it's okay and her frown disappears as I reel backwards. "Are we still going to Joe's to celebrate chief resident?" she asks, playing with the lapels of my zip up hoodie.

I shake my head and tell her, "I think April has somewhere else in mind." Lexie looks at me questioningly but I assure her, "Don't worry about it. I'll just meet you at home." She nods and with one final peck on the lips, I make my way to the parking lot.

Less than an hour or so later I pull into the darken parking lot of the familiar building. I squint nervously as my eyes comb the seemingly bare parking lot. I am beginning to worry that my hunch might have been wrong when I spot the blue SUV sitting near the very front of the building. I exhale a sigh of relief as I creep slowly towards the vehicle and pull in to the vacant spot directly adjacent to my best friend's car.

I kill the engine and hop out the car, carrying a brown paper grocery bag and keeping my eyes on the red head the whole time. She is seated comfortably on an old, wooden picnic table and her back is turned towards me but I know she knows I'm there. Despite this, she keeps herself positioned forward and her eyes locked on the stretch of brick and cement off in the distance. In the pale light of the moon, I can just make out the gray letters that hang above the arched doorway that read: Mercy West Hospital.

"How'd you find me?" she asks as I join her atop the picnic table.

She shivers slightly and without a second thought I strip myself of the warm navy blue hoodie. "I know you pretty well by now, April." I tell her seriously as I drape the sweatshirt over her shoulders. "Don't you think?"

She shrugs but smiles inwardly as she wriggles in the warmth of the worn in jacket.

Remembering the extra weight hanging off my fingertips, I purposefully place the paper bag in the space between us. "What's this?" April asks, pulling back a corner of the bag and taking a peek inside.

"Since we couldn't go to Joe's," I begin, reaching into the bag and pulling out the green, glass bottle. "I brought Joe's to you." I tell her, presenting her with the champagne.

Her eyes light up and she grabs the bottle from my hands, quickly going to work at opening it. I scoop out the Swiss Army knife I had purchased and hand it over to her, with the corkscrew side out. "I thought we could celebrate together," I tell her as she twists at the cork on the bottle.

With a loud sounding "Pop", the pressure of the cork finally releases. The bottle begins to overflow but April clumsily takes a swig to keep the fizz from spilling out. She sighs contently and smacks her lips together before offering the bottle over to me.

When I shake my head, her eyebrows knit together it confusion. "One of us has to stay sober." I explain with a grin. She shrugs before taking another sip of the still chilled liquid.

"This is kinda creepy." I confess, jerking my head from side to side in suspicion. My eyes land on our old place of employment and I sigh. It is a strange feeling, looking at Mercy West after all this time. What once was a building that was so buzzing and full of life is now nothing more than a pile of decaying rock and dust. It's weird and a little sad to think of all that has changed since we last left this place behind. "Why did you come here?"

Pulling the bottle away from her lips, she says, "I thought it was appropriate. Since this is kind of where it all began, right?"

I nod but remain silent, too lost in my own thoughts of days from intern year. Not hearing a reply, she continues, "A year ago, a month ago, hell, even a _day_ ago, I could never have imagined this is where I would end up," she mumbles, her voice dripping in disbelief as she lifts the bottle to her lips again and whispers, "Chief resident."

I shrug and admit, "I'm not all that surprised." I turn to April when I feel her bewildered gaze set upon me. "Oh, come on, April," I probe, knocking my knee against hers. "You were always the one to watch at Mercy West."

"Yeah but that was _here_," she protests, gesturing to the building before us, "At Seattle Grace I'm…I'm…"

"Just as smart, organized, and capable as before. You're just more of an underdog is all." I tell her confidently. Sure, for a long time it had looked like it would have been Meredith or Karev but I had always thought April had a shot. Even Hunt had made some comment about it back at Bailey's wedding. While everyone else had brushed it off, I took it to heart. It was nice to know that someone else was starting to see past April's neurotic and babbling ways and, instead, was seeing how a good a doctor she really is.

"I guess," she acknowledges, wiping the champagne residue off her lips with the back of her hand.

We sit together for a long time, a comfortable silence settling between us.

"I still miss them," she says quietly. She doesn't have to explain the _"them"_ she is referring to, not here. "Every day," she admits, nursing the bottle closely to her chest.

"Me too." I take another long glance at the building before asking, "What do you think they would say right now? About you. About _this_."

She closes her eyes and bears her teeth as her face is overtaken by a smile. "Well, Reed…she would have taken me out to get drunk." Thinking it through another minute, she adds, "Then she would have pushed me towards some unsuspecting guy and told him that I'm some big deal surgeon now in a futile attempt to get me to lose my virginity."

I smirk and nod. That did sound like the kind of thing Reed would do.

"While Charles," she presses on but I quickly cut her off.

"Charles would have been pissed out of his mind that he didn't get it." I remind her. Smirking, I say, "And then he would have ended up bitterly saluting and calling you "Chief" for the next week and a half until he got over it. After he got past it though, I think he would have been really happy for you."

April nods solemnly. "That sounds about right." A melancholy expression crosses over her face as she dejectedly realizes, "And they would be here with us right now."

I swallow thickly and nod. Glancing down at the bottle clenched in April's hands, I decide one drink won't kill me and take it from her, stealing a long sip myself.

When I try to pass the bottle back over April, she simply stares back at me with sparkling eyes. "What?" I ask, my forehead scrunching together in confusion.

Without warning, April jumps off the table, her feet smacking the pavement as she lands. "Come on," she mutters, jerking her head to the side. Before leaving she grabs the abandoned Swiss Army knife off the table and begins approaching a tree to her left.

I follow her lead and cautiously move toward the tree. My confusion only intensifies as I hear the scratching of knife on wood. I go to place my hands in my hoodie pockets when I realize that I had given away my sweatshirt awhile ago. Instead, I rest my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. I rock back and forth on my heels, waiting impatiently. My movements immediately stop when April slowly backs away from the tree, revealing her work.

In the trunk of the tree she has carved the initials R.A. and C.P. They are sloppy and the "P" is slightly crooked, but it doesn't matter. It's perfect.

"A toast," she begins, choosing that moment to take the bottle back. Holding it above her head, she declares, "to Reed and Charles."

Smiling over at my best friend, I can't help but add, "And to me and you."

She meets my eyes and grins, nodding in agreement. "Me and you."

April pours some of the alcohol on to the soiled ground rooting the tree in place before turning to me and tiredly saying, "Let's go home." I nod and throw a protective arm over her shoulder as I lead her to the car.

April was right. A year ago I never imagined this is where I would be. So much had changed and, yet, she was still by my side. April had been a constant through it all. It really was just me and her now. And, in that moment, I wouldn't have it any other way.

_A/N: End of season 7! I really had fun writing this because I have had this idea running through my head forever! I just never got around to writing it until now! I have always loved how Shonda has parallels between the premier and the finale so I tried to keep that going here between the first chapter at this one. Thank you for all of those who reviewed last chapter. Also, sorry if I sounded a little too hard on myself. That's just how I am when it comes to my writing sometimes. Anyway, you guys really made me feel much better about it so I just wanted to say thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm still kind of torn whether or not I'm keeping the one shots underneath this title or making each season a sequel but I think I'll be taking a few days off before I post season 8 anyway so I'll have to time to think about it. But if this is the last chapter of this story I just wanted to say I have been floored by the response so far and I can't thank you guys enough for your kind words! Hopefully you will all stick around for season 8! As always, thanks for reading and please review!_


End file.
